Its been awhile!

A lot of time has passed since I last wrote!  My free time has gone down to none.....and the little time I do have is spent sleeping.  Oldest is "sick" right now so I actually have a little time to write.  Things have been going good the kids have settled in and our routine is pretty stable.  The baby has gained a ton of weight and there are no longer any developmental concerns.  Middle has drastically improved his speech since getting tubes in his ears and has really started to pick up on things.  Oldest is still having difficulty and is currently going through a psych eval.  I found out today they are leaning towards RAD, evaluator decides to not wait to finish the testing and is recommending counseling start immediately.  They have a hearing next week but Ive been told by GAL and caseworker no one is recommending they return to mom at this point.  A friend of the family has intervened to get custody of just the oldest....this "friend" is also supposedly a pedophile that the kids have spent alot of time with......hmmmmm anyone else see the connections.   Suddenly the RAD and current behavior issues are making sense!  We will see what happens but it looks like my boys will at least be here through the holidays :)

TV

Those who know me know that watching TV is my second job.....and at my last office I rigged up a TV so it was kinda my first job :)  I DVR like a queen and can multi task anything as long as TV is on while I am doing it.  That is why this next story is a jaw dropping shocker:

After all the kids went to bed last night I came downstairs to watch some TV.  The DVR is 98% full!!  However, while going through the DVR to find a show to watch.......... icarly was playing............I exited the DVR menu and watched it and the next episode too.........I dont know why BUT I had to see what icarly's room would look like after the big fire :)


There was a time where I seriously considered some sort of TV watching rehab, turns out I just needed some kids to occupy my time :)

Visits

There havent been enough visits yet to tell if the "acting out" coincides directly or if the kids are just having a bad day....but it was one h*ll of a weekend! 

Im an easily irritated person as it is and the fact that E continues to test me at every step is draining!  Of course it is then followed up with, "Sorry I had an episode, I love you Mommy!"  This is of course a big improvement so I will focus on that :)  I also inadvertently have taken E off his meds for the last week as we try and sort out with Medicaid whether they will cover the new prescription.  Other than a bad report on Friday from daycare and a biting "incident" at his visit with Mom, Im really pretty pleased with his behavior all things considered. 

W has been really clingy since visits started.  When I pick them up he starts screaming and holding his hands out to come to me.  Given the situation (they usually hold the kids and walk them out to the car and get them buckled) I try to keep my distance during the exchanges.  BUT the poor little bewildered look in his eyes is enough to make you cry.  He doesnt understand why I am not rushing in to pick him up and soothe his little tears....heartbreaking.  Now he doesnt want to get left at daycare or bedtime or anywhere else....which is unusual for him.

R is getting bigger and bigger, 11 pounds now, AND wait for it........I only had to get up ONE time last night, boy do I feel refreshed this morning.


Too bad I have a crap load of work to do this week :)

Appointments, Appointments

It seems my life has become consumed with the never ending appointments these kiddos have to have!!  Went to the Dr with baby boy this week and he weighed in at 11 pounds!  That means he gained more in the 2 weeks hes been here than his whole first 2 months of life :)  Then we had a Help me Grow appt for baby yesterday, W is also in help me grow but they couldnt find his paperwork in time to combine the visits......which means I will have to do this all over again with him.  Anyway Baby did really well,  they were concerned with the lack of eye contact and tracking.  Even when he is looking at you it seems like he is looking past you.  So they will be monitoring him for that.  THEN.....I finallly got my WIC appt!

I dont even know where to begin with WIC.  Lets start with the fact that I was reprimanded by the "Dietician" for giving W a sippy cup.......apparantly he should just go from a bottle straight to a regular cup.  Thats all fine and dandy but have you seen a 21 month old drink out of a regular cup?????????????  I have enough laundry and carpet stains to deal with as it is lady!  Then when I tell her that he drinks white milk, water, and juice,  she tells me that I should be giving him chocolate milk instead of juice???!!!  What kind of a dietician is this do you know how much sugar is in chocolate milk??? 

But regardless I walked out of there with "WIC Coupons" for the next 3 months totaling over a thousand dollars worth of food and formula.......no wonder people keep having babies they cant afford!!

Unexpected Check

So I got a check in the mail yesterday that I wasnt expecting!  Apparently I got paid to take the pre-service training classes???!!!  Ummmmmm, why did no one ever mention that?!  Anyway I was happy because I dont get the boys foster care board till the 15th which means 2,000 out of my pocket on daycare until then.

The Judge

So E has talked about the "Judge" a few times now, you might as well replace fire-breathing demonic child killing monster for judge or cops in his mind.  This morning he woke up and said that he thought he wasnt here anymore when he woke up.  I asked him what he meant and he said he was afraid the "Judge" made him move again.  I told him he wasnt going to be moving for awhile and he didnt need to worry about it right now.  Then he asked if he would see me when he went home with mom.  I said I would try to see him wherever he is! But............how awful for these little guys in the system.  What can I really say???  I dont know if he will be going home or staying here, or hell if the JUDGE will decide he needs to move again!!  AND it really irritates me that we are supposed to impress upon these kids that the Judge is going to decide what is best for you...blah, blah, blah.  I want to just tell them the truth......your mom is a deadbeat who cant seem to put in enough effort to get you back.  But no we cant possible do that so instead we teach these kids from a young age that the Judge is the big meanie who wont let him go home.  Its bad enough that my kid thinks cops are only there to put you in jail.  You should have seen his little face when I tried to explain that Cops are only here to help people and keep us safe!  You would have thought I told him that pigs fly!

WOW

Ok I feel totally behind on telling all of you about the new placement and how things are going!  It has been a crazy week and was not the ideal time for three new boys under 5!!  I had 9-5 trainings all week last week so pretty much I got everyone up dropped them off at daycare went to trainings, picked them up from daycare and came home.....no time for blogging.....and my internet at home is off?!

So we will start with the highlights:

1.  8 week old baby only weighs nine pounds (was 7lbs at birth), makes no eye contact, and has no control over his head yet....Dr. was concerned and we go back wednesday to make sure he is gaining.   It took about 4 days for me to even here the baby cry.  He would just sit there....all day....if you let him.  By the 5th day he realized if he cried someone would pick him up and that someone would feed him.  They had previously only been giving him apple juice and water.  Im pretty sure this little guy has gained a couple of pounds in the last week!  He is now making eye contact and Im pretty sure he smiled at me the other day....although it could be gas :)

2.  2 year old boy is severly delayed in speech/language, although I can definitely make out the word "NO".  Problem is he says no to everything....even if he means yes :)  He is copying his older brother which has made for some behavior issues, but last night I instituted a time out in his bedroom (rather than on the steps) and I think he got it?

3.  5 year old......I dont even know where to begin on this one.  Discipline has been getting a little better, and by better I mean there is only a 30 minute screaming, kicking, hitting fest instead of 1.5 hours!  He set a fire in his bedroom earlier in the week.....with a lighter he stole from target.  Im pretty sure it was more of a curiosity thing then some psychopath killer thing.....but if I die in a house fire you know who to blame.  We installed a smoke detector just in his room and he will hopefully be getting into a fire safety class at the local childrens hospital.

4.  We had a family team meeting to discuss the new placement.  Mom and Dad were there and had the opportunity to tell me the kids likes/dislikes, etc.   They had no clue...I mean they said the kids didnt like jelly.......um we have been eating PB & J like its a job??  The kids are afraid of thunder storms.....ummm we have had 2 since they got here and no problems.  The kids dont take naps....ok the 2 year old consistently takes 2 hour naps?  You get my point. 


Gotto go for now...more to come

Delayed Post

VERY!! Everyone is sound asleep.....that is everyone but ME!




The boys are all here and cute as can be :) Baby R is sound asleep next to me in the pack and play. There was a brief attempt to move him to the crib, followed by the quick lesson of the day- Do not move the sleeping baby! If baby falls asleep downstairs you leave baby asleep downstairs and set up shop on the couch for the night :)



Boys bedtime at the relative placement 10:00, Boys bedtime at my house 7:30 for Little W, 8:30 for Big E. Seemed to go well and no one noticed the change. Baby R fell asleep at 6 and has woken up twice so far for about 10 minutes each time- not too bad for an 8 week old.



Oh and guess what I get to do tomorrow...







wait for it.....







wait for it.....







APPLY FOR WIC!!



Thats right I finally get to be the annoying lady in line at the grocery store with the WIC coupons arguing that the box of cereal I have is an approved food item. Using tax payer dollars to buy formula while I spend my hard earned money on the cartful of beer and filet mingon. Normally, Im the person behind this said lady counting my change to buy the jar of peanut butter and crackers cause its all I can afford cursing at said lady under my breath and the ironies of people working the system. Oh sweet poetic justice and a big Thank-you taxpayers!!

Things are coming together

I found Bentley a home!!  AND its with a friend of mine :)  Im so excited, I will be able to "visit" and know how he is doing.  Everything is coming together.....except my emotional state!!  I am a wreck, way too much to do and so little time.  The boys will be here Thursday at 1:00.......what did I get myself into??

Dillema

So I have a dillema.  The boys were here this weekend.  My boxer, Bentley, had to be kept in the kitchen the entire weekend.  He stood at the gate and barked everytime a kid came by.  When I tried to let him out he just could not settle down.  Little kids running and playing was just too much excitement.  Not to mention Boxers love to jump, Bentley loves it to the max, which would mean poor children being knocked over.  It created a lot of stress for me...and for Bentley.   If my goal is kids in the house, Im afraid that might mean my first baby will need a better fit :(

Im a mess!!!! What do I do??

Things I've learned this weekend:

When a child's first words to you are, "I wanna kill God.....no I REALLY want to!", you are in for a great time!


No matter what or where it is, it will get sticky.

"Im thirsty" means I will drink one sip of whatever you give me and leave the rest.

The Wii is a magical behavior modification tool.

Nap time is the greatest invention known to man :)
 
 
We had a roller coaster of a weekend!  It took until Saturday afternoon to really see what makes the boys tick, but after that things went smoother....only 1 time out today!!  I had grandeose ideas of feeding my kiddos organic and natural foods.....this went out the window on the way home from pick up when we went through burger king!  Oh well :)  I thought my house was child proofed.....wrongo! 
 
I should hear from the caseworker Monday and hopefully the boys and baby brother will be moving in.  I will spend the next few days reorganizing the house to make it more child friendly.

HA...All that waiting did me good!!

So its a good think I didnt listen to myself!!  I was sitting at home just waiting when my CW finally called back.  She asked if the Placement Worker had called.  I say "No??" and she says he was supposed to call me to discuss placement of the 3 siblings.   AHHHHHH, right as I am talking to her a fax comes through on my home fax machine.  It is a letter from the Placement worker saying to call him.  SO I get off the phone with CW and call.  Get this:  First they had given him my fax number not my phone number.  Secon, he had been calling all yesterday and this morning.  Third he called my CW several times and she NEVER even called him after we spoke yesterday morning and I said I would be interested.  FInaly last night she emailed the Placement worker and just said "She's interested."  Thats it!!!!  SO he tells me all about him and I say that I would take them.  3 boys (5, 1.5, and Newborn).  Oldest has ADHD and some behavior issues, middle one has some Speech/Language problems due to chronic ear infections and newborn appears to be healthy with no problems.  Placement worker was trying to set up a meeting this weekend with the kids so we could begin the transition, but wasnt sure he would be able to get ahold of the kids CW.

Anyway, now Im freaking out!!!!  SO nervous and SO excited....what to do!!???!!!  Im hoping everything works out and they actually do end up coming...you never know in the foster world.  This would be a legal risk placement, the older 2 have been in care for 6 months with parents not really working the case plan.  Baby just came into care a couple of days ago.

On a side yet somewhat related note...anyone remember this Saved by the Bell episode :)

Why do I do these things.....

So I got that call yesterday morning.  I told myself, "Self, do NOT sit around waiting!  Go about your day and get the massive list of things that needs to be done accomplished."  Did I listen??  NO, why would I do a silly thing like that  So I ran around the house cleaning for awhile and obssessed about whether my phone rang...it did not.

Around lunch I went and cleaned out the car and made sure the car seat was in place. (Side Note:  Cat jumped in car while I was cleaning, but I did not know it)

Finally I had to go to work cause a client was meeting me at 6:30.  I go out to the car and get in....cue loud panting.  I turn around and there is poor kitty kat...I mean it had to be 120 degrees in that car!!  I rush kitty inside to the air condition room (thats right i dont have central air!)  and he seems to be fine now.  Thank goodness I didnt lock a kid in the car all afternoon!  On another irritation level, the client never showed up!  I mean I am making a special evening appointment for you!  You cant even call and say your are not coming.  ARRRGGGHHH!

I woke up this morning, left a message with CW asking if she heard anything about the sibling group and if not when I could come sign the release to have my homestudy sent out for a boy Im interested in.  Then I told myself,  "SELF, do not sit around waiting all day!"   so far........Im not listening again :)

Got a call!!!

I got a call today for a legal risk placment of 3.....thats right I said 3!  A 5yo, 1.5yo and newborn.  I said yes, so now im waiting to see if it will come through.....

SEND GOOD THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS MY WAY :)

Submitting Homestudy

So now that I have my license and a new Foster/Adopt Case Manager I have been obsessing with photolistings and making sure my phone is always next to me in case there is THE call.  After trying to get a hold of this new case manaager for a couple of weeks I did talk to her today.  She said she would have to schedule a meeting to come out and meet with me and get a release to send my homestudy outside of the county. She couldnt schedule it over the phone right then since her coputer is "apparently" not working.  Sense the sarcasm!  I told her about a little boy I had seen a county over.  His caseworker is supposed to be contacting mine to get the homestudy and discuss whether I would be a match.   Could it be this easy??  Probably not...but heres to hoping!

Way too hot for waiting

It is TOO hot!!!!  I can't get anything done....and I have a lot to do :)  Not being able to move without sweating buckets, i am stuck here waiting.........

IT CAME!!!

I got my license in the mail today!!!  Of course there is a whole packet of papers.....and nowhere in there does it tell me what to do next.  It did mention the Foster/adopt caseworker my file was being transferred to so I emailed her to see what I should do now!

Bad day

Got layed off yesterday....great timing, huh?!

Picture

Going on Day 4

Going on Day 4 without a car!  It was vibrating like crazy so I had to take it in to the shop.  Hopefully it will be done today.....and it should only cost $200.00.  I was expecting it to be much more :)

Its like Im in highschool waiting for a boy to call!

Ive got this lump in my throat, cinder block on my chest feeling.  This waiting is killing me.  I feel like Im back in highschool and some boy said, "I'll give you a call later."  So you sit by the phone waiting for it to ring....and you wait....and wait....and wait.....and when the phone rings its like you jumped right out of your skin...only to find out it was your mother asking you to start the oven!  I can't seem to get anything done, I have things that I should be doing but I just keep starting projects and getting sidetracked.  Then half the time I just cant get up and get motivated......Im just stuck!!

Im old~

I got a new phone today!! In my younger days i would have relished at the thought of sitting there and setting up my new phone and playing around with it for hours till I figured everything out.....not this time! I sat there3 for 15 minutes got totally frustrated and drove to the store. I promptly told them to set it up for me. Sat there for 15 minutes and out the guy came with everything set up, he just transferred all my emails, instant messenger accounts, contacts, and pictures over to the new phone....much easier!

OMG

OMG NOW SHE CALLS AND SAYS MY AUTO INSURANCE CARD ON FILE HAS EXPIRED!!!!! I give up! So I have to fax her that now! I dont even have any kids yet and the "system" is driving me crazy. I cant imagine the frustrations I will feel when dealing with birthparents, caseworkers, GAL's, etc. I dont know how everyone does it.

On a good note she saud she thinks by Wednesday she will have my license.....at least I think thats what she said, or maybe she met it would get sent out on Wednesday??? I dont know she says Ive already been approved, whatever that means, and she is just waiting on my license.

If Children Services what not this godlike agency that held all the power to me getting my future children I would call her supervisor, but Im not trying to rock the boat before I even get started!

Thankfully all my teachers are out for the summer so that greatly reduces the consultation work for the next few months. WHICH is why it would be a perfect time for a placement since I have more free time and can work from home most days!

Crying always works!

Had a slight emotional break down today! I was so frustrated on multiple levels. CW called today and guess what...surprise, surprise....my file still has not been sent out to the state. She has now told me on three different occassions that it has been sent out, but then realizes she missed something and has to pretend like she never told me that. This time she says the medical form, that was sent back in DECEMBER, was not completed all the way by my Doctor. She tried calling the doctor and the doctor refused to fill it out!!!!! Now lets back track and tell you how the first time the Doctors Office mailed the form to the CW they also inadvertently mailed her my prescription for birth control......um HIPPA anyone??

Regardless, I was SO upset I decided to drive down there myself! Of course the Doctor was at a different office today!!! Well the ladies were all really nice and they called over to the other office and spoke with the Doctor. The lady comes back, lookin bewildered, and says that the Doctor said she doesnt know me well enough and maybe I should have someone who knows me better fill it out??? Am I supposed to have my Doctor over for dinner???? What the hell! So at this point I start crying and tell the ladies that this just doesnt make any sense she already filled out the form, I just need her to fill in one section statiung she doesnt know of any health reasons why I should be precluded from foster/adopt program??? The nurse looks at my chart and says you look healthy to me Ill sign it!! GREAT! Except I dont have another form! So they call over to the other office to have them fax the form over and the Doctor refuses. At this point I am in hysterics, I tell the ladies that this has been a nightmare and that this office violated my hippa rights and all I need is one sentence written on the form that was already filled out! The ladies have me go sit in the waiting room while they figure it out.

A few minutes later they have a fax from the other office with the information I need filled out. The nurse claimed that the Doctor was just confused about what the question was asking...yeah right! So they faxe it to cw. The kicker is she wrote on the line "Appears healthy as of 3/19/09" since that is the last time I saw her personally (I was just there three months ago but saw the nurse). I dont even know if that will fly since it was over a year ago! If I get another call I may have to be checked into a mental hospital!

Procrastination

So I have one thing that I HAVE to get done this week....ok thats a lie it had to get done about 2 months ago :) Its just such a pain and quite frankly I dont see why the opposing attorney needs it. Furthermore, this is a pro bono client so Im not even getting paid on this case.....and it has drug out for months!



So did I do it today.......




Nope I spent the day organizing the office instead.




Oh well, better luck tomorrow!

In a Funk

Bentley and I are in a staring contest......he wants to go to the park......I want to lay on the couch and watch TV!

Thumb twiddling is getting old!!

Ok so I took over the stupid paperwork that the CW needed in order to get my home study sent out finally.......now Im just waiting. Ive been trying to clean and get some basic necessities. I got some formula and bottles, some clothes, blankets. Just a few things so Im prepared for a placement and wouldn't need to run out to the store within hours of having a child in my home! To days project is organizing the bathroom closet...currently it is shoved to the brim with lotions, shampoos, and other random things! Wish me luck :)

Raising Cain and Abel

So this afternoon's training did not go as well as yesterdays. It was about raising boys, but didn't really tell me anything I didn't know. The craziest part was at the end during discussion a man stood up and told the trainer that this was basically the worst training he had ever been to! I mean it wasn't great but certainly wasn't that bad! The trainer was totally taken aback, rightfully so, and then others jumped on the bandwagon. Somehow it turned into a christian vs. non-christian parenting discussion....I don't know how that happened. I was totally ashamed and embarrassed to think that other Christians would behave this way. I understand that you (and me) are parenting with a certain worldview. However, this is a County training not a Church training and I think it is entitled to think that the training should be based around your worldview. My thought is always to listen to what is being said and take home what you can and what fits into your philosophy and worldview of parenting, but to demean others for not thinking your way....I just don't understand. Any other thoughts?

AHHHHHH!!

Guess who called today.....thats right the social worker. Remember how earlier this week she said my homestudy was being sent to the state......yeah well that didnt happen. She calls me this afternoon to tell me she needs MORE paperwork. Apparently since it took her SO long to get this homestudy done I now need to provide her with the 2009 taxes, updated utility bills, and updated pet vacinations. Now of course the cats rabies vaccination expired this past Wednesday! Now I will be spending the weekend getting all of this together to get to her by Monday, because of course she claims it will be going out Monday. Who wants to take that bet???

Managing Behavior

Our area has a Foster Parent Training Weekend each year and it happens to be this weekend. I called to see if I could attend even though I don't have my license yet and they said that was fine. Since we have to have 40 hours of training every two years, this is going to be a great way to get in 15 hours in 3 days!

This afternoon I attended a training on managing behavior. It was incredible. I can honestly say that in ALL the trainings I have ever been to, including work, this was the most informative and fun training I have ever been to! I learned so many practical strategies and ideas. One of my favorites was talking about breathing techniques, teaching children to breath in through the nose and out through the mouth to calm down. The saying was, "Smell a flower, Blow out a candle." How cute is that?! The trainer also told us to have children who have a problem with cursing stand in front of a mirror and watch themselves curse, he says for some children it really seems to work. Anyways, lots of good information....looking forward to tomorrow!

Is this what it feels like to be pregnant?

Ok so its been 8 months since I started the foter to adopt process......8 months. For the majority of the time I had things to occupy my time and distract me from the whole idea of having kiddos in the house. BUT, now that all the paperwork is done, rooms are ready, and necessities are in hand......Im going crazy! I feel like my pregnant friends around the 8th month when all they keep saying is "I just want this baby out of me!" Thats exactly where I am at, I just want this kiddo to get here now! Anyone have any ideas to calm me down??

Homestudy on its way!

CW called today, homestudy should be going out this week!! Then another few weeks for the state to approve it and send the license!

She called to check if I knew what daycare I would be using? How many times do I have to tell her the same things?? i explained once again that no I didnt have one picked out, but if the child was not school age my schedule is flexible enough that I could take some time off to find a daycare that suited them!

Oh well, at least it should be on its way this week :)

BABY

No not mine...neighbor had her baby and brought it home yesterday!!! So happy for them :) and totally jealous!

Pray for Patience

Im getting impatient and frustrated with the whole system and Im not even licensed yet! Can't imagine what it will be like when I actually have a placement, but let me back up here first. My CW is completely disorganized! She called a month ago (she should have been calling to tell me I was licensed) to tell me that she had submitted my homestudy to her supervisor and realized she forgot to ask me who my emergency care provider would be. Now, we HAD already gone over this during the home study, but as with everything else she failed to take notes, or lost the nots, or didnt realize she needed to write it down! I again tell her who it is and she informs me she has to do a background check and have her sign the disciplinary agreement...mind you I really do not plan on leaving my foster child alone with anyone other than the daycare providers but oh well. She says to me that she has my friends contact number and will contact her. 2 weeks later she calls me back and says she cant find her phone number!!!! WHAT!!! She was my reference so does that mean you lost the reference??? Anyway, gave her the new number...did she call??? NOT FOR ANOTHER WEEK!! Then tells my friend that she needs to do a homestudy at her house??!! So that is not scheduled for another week. My friend leaves work in the middle of the day to go home and meet her...of course she is 30 minutes late. Then the CW says shes not prepared to do a home inspection so why doesnt she just sign this thing saying she wont watch the FK at her house. UNBELIEVABLE! Now I have to wait for her background check to come back...oh and did i mention she just had a background check done because she is a CASA volunteer. CW "couldnt find it in the system".

Finally Finished

Finished......well sort of! HomeStudy Assessor came by last week to do the final Safety Inspection and despite the fact that the molding is still not up in the kitchen....I passed! What a nightmare that Kitchen ceiling has been, my brother was still trying to get everything done minutes before the social worker was due to show up. Thankfully, she has never been here on time and runs at least 30 minutes late each visit....which normally irritates me to no end :) So now its just a waiting game until I get my license. She says she will need another week or so to get everything written up and then it will be a few weeks before her supervisor reviews and signs off on the homestudy. Then it gets sent to the state and I should receive my license. She seemed to think it would be another 2 months or so before all the paperwork was completed and the license received.
Later on in the week she called back and told me she just had a few questions she had forgotten to ask...which must mean she is working on getting it typed up :) The questions that hit me was, "When and If you adopt who would the children go to if something were to happen to you?" WOW....what a question! I hadn't even really put a lot of thought into that yet and you want me to give you an answer on the spot!! So I quickly told her my brother *Jesse* and hung up the phone. In most situations your spouse would be left behind to care for the children (hopefully), but how do you pick something like that. I mean my first instinct would be to say my mom, but is that really fair for her, shes already raised her kids and should enjoy the chance of being a grandma...only having to spoil the kids and then send them back for someone else to deal with all the behavior issues and disciplining! My brother is responsible and would be a great caregiver, but he is also young and is it fair to saddle him with all these kids. Plus, whose to say when of if I would die...I mean if i were to pass away and my child is 17 years old it would be a big difference then if I passed away and i adopted a sibling group of 5 who are all under the age of 6! And I really think I would need to get to know the kids first before I can make a decision like that, personalities clash, different parenting styles may fit better with a certain child....I don't know!!!
I guess its just more for me to think about over the next few months.
I bought a car seat yesterday after I spent the day cleaning out my car...yes I said "day"...it was that bad! I also found a 2T boys Ralph lauren Snow Suit at the thrift store for $3 that I had to buy.....you never know and it was brand new tags still on it!
I'm going to try and clean out Kitchen Cabinets today so wish me luck!

Decisions

Hmmmmm....decisions, decisions! I teach a class at a local community college. The college is on a month to month basis, so it is a one month commitment at a time. I was just asked if I would teach a class in April and May. I'm not sure what to do, my homestudy assessor seemed to think I would have my license and be off and running by April, but you never know. I don't plan on teaching once I have foster/adopt kids in the house so I'd like to store up some funds and pay off some things before then, but I don't want to commit to teaching a class and then have to put the kiddos in daycare! My schedule is pretty flexible for my full time job so I can work from home most days and have the kids in school (if school age) or daycare 1-2 days a week.

The dogs are totally stressing me out! I'm really hoping they will behave and keep calm when kids are in the house but that is probably not a reality. They are nice dogs just a little hyper, and when you have a boxer who loves to jump.....catastrophe is what floats through my mind.

Ive been thinking a lot lately about relationships and what that entails for me. I've been single for over two years and have really had no desire to date anyone! Adopting and Foster care has always been an issue in past relationships, its pretty much a deal breaker for me and unfortunately there are not to many nice, young, single, attractive, and successful guys out there who are just dying to take in abused and neglected children with emotional and physical issues, I can't imagine why not?? :) People keep telling me (in not so many words) that no one will want me once I have "those" children. Frankly, I feel like it will be easier to meet someone once I already have my babies. I mean at least then anyone who gets involved with me knows what they are stepping into! Oh well, although it would be great to meet someone I am pretty content right now and that's good enough for me!

Inspiration

I've been battling a secret addiction of reading every adoption blog I can get my hands on.....I wonder if there is a Blog Reader Anonymous group I can join! All these blogs have inspired me to write my own, even if just to chronicle this journey for myself and future children.
I watched this movie last night "Gigantic" about a young single guy who had always wanted to adopt a baby from china. It led me to several strange emotions/thoughts:
1. It struck me as off that a young single guy would want to adopt.....then I realized that it is no different then my current situation. So why does that strike me as strange?
2. Why can't I find a young cute guy whose dream in life is to adopt a bunch of kiddos??...Wait I just thought that was an odd dream for a young single guy...oh well :)

At this point in my adoption roller coaster journey, I have just about finished my homestudy (back to that in a minute). I've always wanted to adopt children and for the past few years have wanted to seriously pursue it, in September the training classes finally worked with my schedule and I completed my foster to adopt training through the county. Then came the first aid/cpr classes taught by a dictator of a woman....I'm still having nightmares of her screaming "FLIP THE BABY" during infant cpr! I started the homestudy "interviews" which has really been a frustrating experience. Mostly because I am an organized "Work smarter-not harder" kind of person and clearly my social worker was not! I swear I have answered the same questions numerous times because she doesn't have it in her notes. WELL, you wouldn't have it your yellow notebook there because you brought you laptop last week and a yellow notebook the week before. Oh well I guess its just the introduction of the foster care world as I have read in so may blog and chat rooms. Anyway this past eek as supposed to be my last visit, but I didn't pass the safety audit. Right before Christmas I had a pipe burst in the bathroom and the plumbers had to take down several tiles from the kitchen ceiling to get to all the pipes. Now the ceiling tiles are purely cosmetic, what safety precautions dos the ceiling tile hold?? Anyway the ceiling tiles had to be specially ordered and wont be in for another two weeks, SW won't approve without it. Which makes no sense to me considering no one checks to make sure the fireplace is in working order but those darn ceiling tiles have danger written all over them. Anyway, after all that the SW says her goal is to get my license by April and hopefully a placement shortly after that. Right now my age range is 0-8 and I'm open to pretty much anything with a few exceptions. Given that my background is Special Education I feel like I have the skills and training to work with a variety of disabilities.

While that's all for now, I have some dogs who are dying for a game of fetch and a bite of leftover chicken enchiladas!