I had our annual IEP meeting for Matthew this week. No shocking information, he is still doing really well in the therapeutic school. They are recommending he stay there for fourth grade and the school district agreed to pay for it again. They have a level system and he is on the highest level. They have taken of all academic goals except writing and OT, so the only thing that remains are the emotional/social/behavioral goals.
I often feel mixed emotions when it comes to Matthew and school. On one hand I am happy he is doing so well, glad that I get good reports and his teacher sings his praises, trust me that wasn't the case before hand. Often times though this makes me feel like the problems we see at home are more so issues with me (my parenting or his lack of attachment to me), it makes me second guess everything. At today's IEP meeting I felt very validated, they noted ALL of the EXACT issues that I see at home as still being a problem in school. I feel guilty for being happy that he is having these same issues at school. However, knowing that these same social/emotional issues are presenting themselves in the same exact ways at school really makes me feel like the attachment that I think Matthew and I have gained is real, the issues I see at home are not nearly a presentation of "Attachment Issues" between him and me, but rather some legitimate issues that are consistent across the board. Many of these stem from the trauma he endured early on, many are from mental illness, but I feel like we have moved past most of the behaviors that were rooted in attachment insecurities or avoidance.
He will probably have a new teacher next year, I have mixed feelings about that as well. He has been with this teacher for almost two years and one of the reasons he does SO well is because of her. She is highly structured, aware of what is going on in the classroom, attuned to his issues, encouraging and funny. On the other hand I think it will be good to see if he can transition the skills he has learned to a new teacher and classroom environment. He will need to learn how to transition these skills if he is going to be successful in the regular school environment. They all assured me that his teacher next year is wonderful and that we will keep in touch as far as the transition, so I am hopeful.
He will get Extended School Year services over the summer, that consists of school 8-12 for about 4 weeks with the bus transporting him, that is really helpful!
You are not alone in wondering "Is it just me?" when it comes your kids. I've had the same thoughts before - if they are doing so well at school, maybe it is ME who is doing something wrong. Sometimes it might be for 5% of it, but usually it isn't and I'm just too over analyzing/sensitive of the situation. :)
ReplyDeleteAt the same time I try to reassure the teachers that I understand exactly what they are dealing with and support them in how they handle it. After all, I have trouble at times with just two. They have 10 - 25 kids. The look of relief when I completely agreed with the teachers at the last IEP meeting was priceless. It was as if they expected me to argue with them. Nope. I get it. I didn't cause the issues, but I get it.
Glad to hear you found something that works for you guys right now. Hope it continues to go well and you see progress. It is a long road and when you see at the bumps immediately ahead of you (and try to avoid them) the road looks longer, but hang in there. You are doing great.