It's finally SUMMER!

Sorry its been so long since I updated you all :)  It is finally summer!

The kids did Vacation Bible School last week and had a blast.  Are the VBS's in your area charging?  I was floored when looking for VBS's for the kids to go to that almost all of them were charging 25-35 bucks per kid.  The one I sent them to last week was the only free one I could find.  To me that is just crazy, "Hey we would love to tell your kids about Jesus....it will cost you though!".  Oh well, it all worked out anyway because I found out our city has a playground camp the whole month of July, I thought it was 10 dollars a day BUT this morning when I went to register James, Joel, and Alex I found out it was 10 dollars for the WHOLE month! It is M-F 9-12 for Joel and James and 9-12 and 1-3 for Alex, Matthew will go in the afternoons.  They go on trips like swimming, bowling, etc occasionally. Matthew goes to ESY for the month of July. 8-1 Monday through Thursday.

Buttercup has been doing great, she is SO close to walking, it will be any day now!  Mom has shown up to the visits each week and Buttercup gets so excited seeing her walk in the door.

Alex has visits with mom once a month at the jail, she has been telling him he is coming home this summer. Apparently she is up for parole soon.  Alex is having a hard time understanding that this is probably not the case.  Even if she is released on parole, he wouldn't be able to go home right away.

We had R1 back for respite this weekend, 6 kids almost pushed me over the edge, LOL!  I don't think it would be so bad if they were not all so close in age...and boys (except my Buttercup).  Between R1, Matthew and Alex they are constantly in a control battle.  R1 brought a bunch of toys and of course when it was time to go everyone argued over whose Bey Blade pieces were whose....which I warned them would happen.  Then we couldn't find two of R1's Nintendo DS games.  We spent hours looking everywhere and ended up not being able to go to the Aquarium like I had wanted to.  We could not find them, I thought Matthew had hid them somewhere so I gave R1 one of our games that was the same and told him Id find the other and give it to his caseworker.  About 10 minutes after we dropped him off R1's foster mom called and said they were in his pocket! Grrrrrr......she is supposed to drop off our game at the agency this week, we will see if that actually happens.

We went to the beach for a couple days last week.  The boys woke me up at 5 am to look for shells and we found this little guy.....we named him "Hermie".  The boys took care of him all day and then released him back into his habitat, but only after I promised to buy them each a hermit crab this weekend when we go back!  Ahhhhhh that's a lot of hermit crabs :)

So there is my update for today!

Parent-Teacher Conference and stuff

 I had been sick since last Thursday and finally broke down and went to the CVS minute clinic on Saturday, strep throat....ugh!  Medicine finally began kicking in on Sunday and I could begin picking up the disaster zone that had become my house. Praise the LORD, that I had spent the week before teaching everyone a morning and evening chore to do around the house.  That alone kept us together while I was sick.  I'm so proud of Matthew especially, he is rocking the dishes, which I absolutely despise so it is a huge help for me :)  Sunday night and Monday morning James was looking a little lethargic so I didn't take him to preschool.  We dropped Joel off and did a few errands together, in the dollar store he told me had had to use the bathroom and then promptly peed his pants, which wouldn't have been a big deal.  However, the next day (Tuesday) he then pooped his pants.  He's never had an accident since being potty trained so this was bizarre to me.  Not to mention inconvenient because Tuesday was packed with appointments, Matthew, James, and Joel all had their 6 month dental check up on Tuesday.  Alex only has half days so we had to pick him up at 12:30 and then head to Joel's speech therapy.  After that we had to go straight back to Alex's school for his parent teacher conference!  By the time we got home and got James in the tub he was pretty embarrassed.  I'm hoping this isn't going to become a thing and rather was just a coincidence  or a result of him not feeling 100%.  When I got him in the bath I noticed that he had pieces of "floam" in his stool.  Its like playdough but made with tiny bead shaped things.  Obviously he had been eating it, gross, and probably why he wasn't feeling well.   The permission to evaluate from the school was in the mail when we got home, so that is a blessing and hopefully they will put James back on an IEP for kindergarten next year. 
Alex's parent teacher conference went well, his teacher said he is transitioning well into the school and as made friends.  She doesn't have any behavior issues with him.  She admitted she was a little nervous because he is the first "foster kid" she has ever had and wasn't sure what to expect.  Alex is definitely a great ambassador for the idea that foster kids are just normal kids who are in a bad position due to know fault of their own.  He is a great kid!  Academically he is doing great, scoring at the advanced level on the last reading test, consistently getting 100% on spelling and math tests.  I'm so glad to hear he is doing well and he LOVES his school.  The teacher said he tells everyone how he is staying here and doesn't have to move homes again till his Mom comes back.  He shared with his teacher about going to visit Mom so it seems like he has a good relationship with her too. 
James had two small cavities and they had openings to get them filled Wednesday and Thursday morning, which meant no preschool for him those days either.   The dentist said he did a great job.
We have the agency caseworker coming over for her monthly visit tonight and she called yesterday to see about setting up another visit for Alex and Mom in May.  So far she hasn't shared much information with me, but I know there is a court date sometime this month so maybe I will hear more. 
I may be calling the agency soon to let them know we still have a crib open and ready.......... :)

Getting my BRAVE on!

I'm not one for confrontation, Ill pretty much grit and suffer through anything rather than confront someone.  That is why this is such a HUGE brave for me.  I'm going to be asking for a new Mobile Therapist for James. 

Allow me to vent.........

He is really unprofessional and inconsiderate of our time and its driving me crazy!  He originally scheduled with me to come on Tuesdays.  He has always been late at least twice during the month, anywhere from 15-60 minutes and would never call.  He began consistently showing up an hour late for weeks,  it finally caught up with him when his supervisor stopped by to observe the session and he called an hour after he was supposed to be here claiming he was stuck in traffic and couldn't come.  The next week he switched us to another day claiming the traffic from his appointment before us was causing the continued delay.  While once again he was never on time (one day he was an hour early cause he had to take the bus) and he never calls to say he is running late, sometimes he just doesn't show up.  The funny thing is the BIG thing they said I needed to work on was to create a visual schedule and consistently follow it.  Aside from the fact that we already had that and a visual schedule is the least of James problems, don't you think its hard to have a consistent schedule when the therapist is inconsistent in showing up on time or at all???   SO a few weeks ago he asked if it would be possible to do a couple of Saturday sessions when he has other clients who have signed up for an evaluation during out normal therapy time.  I said that was fine to do a few.  Saturday however is our ONLY day to relax.  Furthermore he never specified what Saturdays he needed to do this.  So for the last month he hasn't shown up on Monday(our normal day) at all, he showed up last week on Saturday after calling Friday night and asking to come at 1.  He then claimed he hadn't shown up cause I was on vacation in Orlando?? BUT he only heard that from someone else, he never called me to schedule anything, AND we were available on Mondays our normal day both weeks.  Furthermore he could have still come on Saturdays as the boys were here!   As he was leaving last Saturday I asked if he was coming on Monday and he said no he needed to do Saturday, I said fine.  I assumed it would be the same time.  Well its Saturday and he was supposed to be here at 1.  At 2:30 he called and asked if he could come at 3:30.  I told him I thought he was coming at 1 and he said he "told" me he would call on Saturday with a time.   EVEN if that was true what were we supposed to do, just sit around all day waiting for him to call and tell me what time he was coming??  Its already 2:30!!!  If he hadn't been coming we would have gone to the movies or the park or something!  When I asked if he was coming on Monday next week he said no he couldn't he needed to do Saturday and then got irritated when I said Saturdays were not going to work for us.  I'm so irritated, sorry for the novel!  Our Behavioral Specialist is coming this week and I'm going to ask about switching Mobile Therapists.  My boys really like having a male at the house but he doesn't do anything productive and I cant handle this scheduling anymore!!!

Transition Meeting Update

The meeting went alright. I may or may not have gone off on the lady from the Intermediate Unit, but the representatives from the district for school age were there and seemed to be on board.  The school district will be making their decisions and sending out notices to re-evaluate by April 15th at the latest.  I left them with a lot of paperwork, reports, letters, etc all contained within my handy dandy documentation binder.  I even got a "Wow, you are very organized"!

Kindergarten Transition Meeting

I'm starting to get nervous, tomorrow is James' Kindergarten Transition meeting.  I was originally surprised when they called to schedule a transition meeting for him.  The transition meeting is supposed to be for 3-5 year olds who have IEP's and will be transitioning to the school age program.  When we moved states James was discharged from his IEP by the Intermediate Unit (3-5 year old service providers).  This was appealed and we ended up mediating an agreement.  I didn't approve of the whole thing but after months of back and forth I realized he wasn't going to be getting any services that would be helpful regardless, they didn't understand trauma, attachment, or behavioral/emotional issues in general and certainly not to the extent of James' complex issues.  So when I got the call I was more than happy to schedule a meeting with the school district that he would be going to for Kindergarten.  The meeting was scheduled by the Intermediate Unit.  Imagine my surprise when a week later they called to try and cancel it since they realized he doesn't even have an IEP.  No way, I was not letting them cancel.  Clearly they have no idea what they are doing, I am more than happy to meet with the school district now rather than having to go through the whole dog and pony show come fall.  James' BHRS is coming to the meeting and I had the mobile therapist and his preschool teacher write letters outlining his problems, current goals and progress.  Hopefully we can reevaluate him and get him an appropriate IEP before Kindergarten so he doesn't fall even farther behind.

Either he's dedicated to his job or we are REALLY messed up!

It's Saturday and it's snowing.  Its been snowing all week, we had 6 or so inches earlier in the week and James' Mobile Therapist had to cancel.  AND by cancel I mean he just didn't show up, no that I figured he would with the snow, but a call would have been nice.  Anyhow, he called on Friday to schedule a session for today......a Saturday, and no they don't typically work on weekends.  He is either really dedicated to his job or we are really messed up and he was afraid to skip a session with us, lol!

Anyway apparently we have completely given up on trying to "fade out" and have the boys play by themselves for a few minutes in order to enable me to get things done around the house.  Now the plan is to just set them up with something to do wherever I need to be in the house.  Which is really not very helpful at all, the whole point is I need a break for a few minutes to put some laundry in the washer and take a breath, not to have them follow me around the house.  Good news is it sounds like we will finally be doing some direct instruction on social skills with James (and the others) in a special circle time starting next week.

Both James and Matthew requires direct instruction on social skills, they don't pick up on social cues or by watching how others interact.  I think this will be good for them......hopefully.

How Bey Blades have taken over my life, shown me how far we've come and pointed out what we still need to work on!

Have you experienced Bey Blades at your house?  If not, get down on your knees and thank God for the blessings he has bestowed upon you by keeping them out of your house.  I'd say we have had them in our house for about two years, the boys playing with them on and off.  However, this past month their has been a resurgence of Bey Blades, due in part to our trip to visit friends in Georgia who also liked them.  The basic idea is these little toys hook on to a "shooter"  when you pull the cord they go flying and then spin like a top on the ground.  Everyone shoots their bey blades and they spin into each other and whoever's blade is the last one spinning is the winner.  There is also a TV show....you know in case you wanted to have a marathon Bey Blade watching session.  Its not too bad at first, but after an hour of kids screaming at the top of their lungs "3....2....1, LET IT RIP". Followed by loud banging and crashing and yelling.......you see the dilemma.  Throw in there three little boys who think its fun to shoot these things into the air towards glass windows and you have a stressed out momma. 

As annoying as these toys are, last night I tried to look at the positives.  The boys are ALL playing together!  Sometimes it lasts longer than others, but usually we make it a good 30 minutes before I need to step in or remove someone from playing.  Sometimes its even longer!  To top it off they are playing it upstairs (away from the windows I was sure were going to get broken) so Im not even needing to directly supervise.  This is pretty impressive when you think about it, three years ago this would NEVER have been a possibility.  They also seem to be incorporating story lines into their play, granted the storylines still involve fighting and beating the other person, but its more than I have seen previously.  They are working on sharing and taking turns, being good sports, etc.  SOme of this requires more prodding on my part, but its happening.

There are a few things which are evident need some major work in our house still based on our Bey Blade interactions.  James' anxiety is still through the roof, and he whines and yells and stomps without telling anyone what the issue is.  Joel still has issues with sharing and with loosing the game.  Matthew still needs to work on is bossiness and his role as the oldest, meaning sometimes we do what the younger kid wants even if its not "fair" and that we need to help the younger kids play the game without getting frustrated at their lack of ability.

We had a long weekend due to MLK day, no school Friday or Monday, now we are on our second snow day (Tues and Wed).  I'm about Bey Bladed out!  Praying for school tomorrow!!

I may have a vampire in my house

The boys were playing so nicely upstairs with their Bey blades.....that is until the blood curdling screams!  That's right my newly nine year old son bit his five year old brother.  You may ask why he would do this, we'll apparently he had told James not to shoot the toys under the bed.  James did it anyway and he thought that warranted sticking his teeth into the apparent offender, ripping a giant hole in the shirt and puncturing the skin.   Nobody has bit in this house since Joel was in his terrible two phase!

The offender had to write an apology note and will be using his money to buy a new shirt tomorrow.

Skittles Game

 

 

The M&M games were a big hit with James and Joel yesterday, as well as with the Mobile Therapist!  I decided to create a few more games to have on hand, these ones use skittles.  Free printables for these games can be found here, which links you to google docs.

 

 

 This game board connects with our "Calm Down Corner" and relaxation exercises we have been practicing.  There is another game board for emotions located in the packet as well!

 

The basic directions of the game: Each person will receive a fun size bag of skittles. They will pull out a skittle and move their piece to the next space of that color.  They will then do the activity listed for that color and eat the skittle.  Whoever gets to the finish first wins!

 

 

Be sure to check out the M&M game!

 

If you want to follow me on Pinterest for more great ideas and activities click the Pinterest button on the right side of the blog :)

M&Ms Feelings Activity

My kids LOVE m&m's, they may or may not be used frequently as a bribe in our household.
I found this idea on Pinterest and it's been sitting around on one of my "Boards" forever!!  I've modified he original game a bit to fit my families particular needs and I think it turned out great!  We will be doing the activity on Monday when James' Mobile Therapist is out, so Ill let you know how it goes.

I've made two versions of the M&M game, the first one focuses on feelings and the second focuses on feeling Angry and calming down.  You will need to print out a game board, you could either print one for the whole family to share or print mini boards so each person has their own.  I laminated mine so we can use them again without getting them ruined.  Each person will need a fun size bag of M&M's or an assortment of 10 or so M&M's.  You can go around in a circle each taking a turn, pulling out a M&M and doing what the game board says.
 

 Here is a link to my post about our Calm Down Corner and strategies:  Calm Down Corner

Here are both games to download from google docs.  They are full page size, I just set my printer to print multiple pages to make them half or quarter page sized.

If you want to follow me on Pinterest for more great ideas, click the link on the right hand side of my blog!

Be sure to join us on Art Therapy Thursdays, for great arts and crafts ideas to use with special kiddos:

 

Relaxation Books

We have been working with James on Deep Breathing and Relaxation. I avoided this as long as possible, as I was pretty much in denial that we were walking down this attachment road again.  I kept telling myself it was JUST ADHD, not attachment issues.  I feel like I just climbed over a huge mountain dealing with these same things with Matthew and we were finally down the mountain walking on flat land.  Just as you think the journey is getting easy another mountain comes into view.  There is a lot of mental preparation you have to go through to make another journey over the mountain.  You cant turn around cause you've got a mountain behind you, so your only option is to go over.   Ive been living the last few months on the flat land of the mountain trying to avoid the climb.  At some point you know you have to climb that mountain to ever get on with your journey.  I guess you could say Ive accepted it at this point and am gearing up for the next few years of teaching basic social skills and family values.  Given that I've already done (am doing) this with Matthew I have a lot of tools and no what to expect.  However I'm always looking for new strategies!  I found this great blog with tons of ideas.  My favorite was the relaxation books.  I made one and have been working with the boys on practicing these skills. 

Jaw: Chew That Carrot
Now, pretend that you are trying to eat a giant, hard carrot. It is very hard to chew. Bite down on it. As hard as you can. We want to turn that carrot into mush! Keep biting. (Hold for 10 seconds). Good. Now relax. You’ve eaten the carrot. Let yourself go as loose as you can.

CHECK THEM ALL OUT AT:
http://www.kimscounselingcorner.com/2012/06/18/fun-and-easy-to-make-relaxation-flip-books/

This totally inspired me to finally put together our "Calm Down Corner"!  Im almost finished and will share pics with you soon :)

Update on James

James has been working with a BHRS (Behavior specialist) and Mobile Therapist for about three months now. I really like them, they don't totally get it, but nonetheless they have given me some things to think about and implement at home.  We've focused our house rules on three things:  Be Kind, Be Respectful, Be Safe.  Ive tried to stop talking as much and just focus on these three rules.  So instead of a long rambling lecture I just say, "That's not safe".  I think it has been helpful, not so much with James actual issues, but helpful when trying to wrangle all three boys and in a general household control and structure way.

Im still waiting on James' medication to go through the insurance.  That has been a complete debacle of back and forth, however I think something should come through this week.

We had a three month check in with the counseling agency in order for insurance to continue funding the BHRS and Mobile Therapist.  Once again I had to go through James' life story.  Why cant these people just read the freaking file.  After talking for awhile I mention that at one point Matthew was diagnosed as RAD.  A big sigh of relief came over her and she said "OH so you wouldn't be SUPRISED if I tell you I think James has some attachment issues?!"  LOL surprised??  NO.  She proceeded to tell me in front of both Matthew and James that I had taken on a "burden" and they were "brain-damaged".  I was livid at that point, I really cant stand some of these therapists! She then proceeded to tell me how I should parent him with a one page summary sheet, cause you know, she went to a training once......

Whatever, over and done with and insurance approved therapy for the next three months.

James has been doing better than expected in preschool.  There have been a few incidents like choking a peer and hitting the teacher at the beginning. It seems as though he really wants friends.  The other kids in the class will not play with him when he is "rough" and will flat out tell him.  He seems to get that the other kids don't like it, but still struggles with what behaviors he can replace it with to get them to play with him.  Despite this the kids seem to quickly forgive and invite him to play.  He has trouble focusing and listening during group time.  He is more apt to try and push his chair into the person next to him or look around the room.  Im hoping the medicine will help with this.  He is "behind" academically, but does show interest in learning things that seem fun to him.  Right now he likes writing.  The teacher thinks it is more so the fact that they get to work one on one with her, which I'm sure is true, but works for me.

We've got a meeting Wednesday with James' BHRS and Mobile Therapist to update the plan of action for the next three months.