It's finally SUMMER!

Sorry its been so long since I updated you all :)  It is finally summer!

The kids did Vacation Bible School last week and had a blast.  Are the VBS's in your area charging?  I was floored when looking for VBS's for the kids to go to that almost all of them were charging 25-35 bucks per kid.  The one I sent them to last week was the only free one I could find.  To me that is just crazy, "Hey we would love to tell your kids about Jesus....it will cost you though!".  Oh well, it all worked out anyway because I found out our city has a playground camp the whole month of July, I thought it was 10 dollars a day BUT this morning when I went to register James, Joel, and Alex I found out it was 10 dollars for the WHOLE month! It is M-F 9-12 for Joel and James and 9-12 and 1-3 for Alex, Matthew will go in the afternoons.  They go on trips like swimming, bowling, etc occasionally. Matthew goes to ESY for the month of July. 8-1 Monday through Thursday.

Buttercup has been doing great, she is SO close to walking, it will be any day now!  Mom has shown up to the visits each week and Buttercup gets so excited seeing her walk in the door.

Alex has visits with mom once a month at the jail, she has been telling him he is coming home this summer. Apparently she is up for parole soon.  Alex is having a hard time understanding that this is probably not the case.  Even if she is released on parole, he wouldn't be able to go home right away.

We had R1 back for respite this weekend, 6 kids almost pushed me over the edge, LOL!  I don't think it would be so bad if they were not all so close in age...and boys (except my Buttercup).  Between R1, Matthew and Alex they are constantly in a control battle.  R1 brought a bunch of toys and of course when it was time to go everyone argued over whose Bey Blade pieces were whose....which I warned them would happen.  Then we couldn't find two of R1's Nintendo DS games.  We spent hours looking everywhere and ended up not being able to go to the Aquarium like I had wanted to.  We could not find them, I thought Matthew had hid them somewhere so I gave R1 one of our games that was the same and told him Id find the other and give it to his caseworker.  About 10 minutes after we dropped him off R1's foster mom called and said they were in his pocket! Grrrrrr......she is supposed to drop off our game at the agency this week, we will see if that actually happens.

We went to the beach for a couple days last week.  The boys woke me up at 5 am to look for shells and we found this little guy.....we named him "Hermie".  The boys took care of him all day and then released him back into his habitat, but only after I promised to buy them each a hermit crab this weekend when we go back!  Ahhhhhh that's a lot of hermit crabs :)

So there is my update for today!

Matthew's IEP meeting

I had our annual IEP meeting for Matthew this week.  No shocking information, he is still doing really well in the therapeutic school.  They are recommending he stay there for fourth grade and the school district agreed to pay for it again.  They have a level system and he is on the highest level.  They have taken of all academic goals except writing and OT, so the only thing that remains are the emotional/social/behavioral goals.
I often feel mixed emotions when it comes to Matthew and school.  On one hand I am happy he is doing so well, glad that I get good reports and his teacher sings his praises, trust me that wasn't the case before hand.  Often times though this makes me feel like the problems we see at home are more so issues with me (my parenting or his lack of attachment to me), it makes me second guess everything.  At today's IEP meeting I felt very validated, they noted ALL of the EXACT issues that I see at home as still being a problem in school.  I feel guilty for being happy that he is having these same issues at school.  However, knowing that these same social/emotional issues are presenting themselves in the same exact ways at school really makes me feel like the attachment that I think Matthew and I have gained is real, the issues I see at home are not nearly a presentation of "Attachment Issues" between him and me, but rather some legitimate issues that are consistent across the board.  Many of these stem from the trauma he endured early on, many are from mental illness, but I feel like we have moved past most of the behaviors that were rooted in attachment insecurities or avoidance.
He will probably have a new teacher next year, I have mixed feelings about that as well.  He has been with this teacher for almost two years and one of the reasons he does SO well is because of her.  She is highly structured, aware of what is going on in the classroom, attuned to his issues, encouraging and funny.  On the other hand I think it will be good to see if he can transition the skills he has learned to a new teacher and classroom environment.  He will need to learn how to transition these skills if he is going to be successful in the regular school environment.  They all assured me that his teacher next year is wonderful and that we will keep in touch as far as the transition, so I am hopeful. 
He will get Extended School Year services over the summer, that consists of school 8-12 for about 4 weeks with the bus transporting him, that is really helpful!

Update on Bus Letter

Never really heard anything back from my bus letter, other than apparantly the aide told Matthew to tell me Thank-You.  At least the information was shared and hopefully they will take my advice to heart.
A few days later we also got a note from school saying that they are aware that several parents have complained about the bus and they are trying to reach out to the bus company to discuss the issues.

Parent-Teacher Conference and stuff

 I had been sick since last Thursday and finally broke down and went to the CVS minute clinic on Saturday, strep throat....ugh!  Medicine finally began kicking in on Sunday and I could begin picking up the disaster zone that had become my house. Praise the LORD, that I had spent the week before teaching everyone a morning and evening chore to do around the house.  That alone kept us together while I was sick.  I'm so proud of Matthew especially, he is rocking the dishes, which I absolutely despise so it is a huge help for me :)  Sunday night and Monday morning James was looking a little lethargic so I didn't take him to preschool.  We dropped Joel off and did a few errands together, in the dollar store he told me had had to use the bathroom and then promptly peed his pants, which wouldn't have been a big deal.  However, the next day (Tuesday) he then pooped his pants.  He's never had an accident since being potty trained so this was bizarre to me.  Not to mention inconvenient because Tuesday was packed with appointments, Matthew, James, and Joel all had their 6 month dental check up on Tuesday.  Alex only has half days so we had to pick him up at 12:30 and then head to Joel's speech therapy.  After that we had to go straight back to Alex's school for his parent teacher conference!  By the time we got home and got James in the tub he was pretty embarrassed.  I'm hoping this isn't going to become a thing and rather was just a coincidence  or a result of him not feeling 100%.  When I got him in the bath I noticed that he had pieces of "floam" in his stool.  Its like playdough but made with tiny bead shaped things.  Obviously he had been eating it, gross, and probably why he wasn't feeling well.   The permission to evaluate from the school was in the mail when we got home, so that is a blessing and hopefully they will put James back on an IEP for kindergarten next year. 
Alex's parent teacher conference went well, his teacher said he is transitioning well into the school and as made friends.  She doesn't have any behavior issues with him.  She admitted she was a little nervous because he is the first "foster kid" she has ever had and wasn't sure what to expect.  Alex is definitely a great ambassador for the idea that foster kids are just normal kids who are in a bad position due to know fault of their own.  He is a great kid!  Academically he is doing great, scoring at the advanced level on the last reading test, consistently getting 100% on spelling and math tests.  I'm so glad to hear he is doing well and he LOVES his school.  The teacher said he tells everyone how he is staying here and doesn't have to move homes again till his Mom comes back.  He shared with his teacher about going to visit Mom so it seems like he has a good relationship with her too. 
James had two small cavities and they had openings to get them filled Wednesday and Thursday morning, which meant no preschool for him those days either.   The dentist said he did a great job.
We have the agency caseworker coming over for her monthly visit tonight and she called yesterday to see about setting up another visit for Alex and Mom in May.  So far she hasn't shared much information with me, but I know there is a court date sometime this month so maybe I will hear more. 
I may be calling the agency soon to let them know we still have a crib open and ready.......... :)

Bus Issues with Matthew

 
I had an unpleasant time this morning when the bus aide almost didn't let my kid on the bus because of his "disrespect".  The aide made Eric walk back home this morning from the bus and demanded that I come to the bus stop and speak with her or Eric was not allowed on the bus. This is the FIRST issue we have ever had in two years on the same bus (however this is a new aide)! Not to mention I had three other children in the house, so running down the block to the bus stop with no notice was not ok. The aide was rude and disrespectful to me and I was still fuming about it 5 hours later so I can only imagine how her tone and body language escalated whatever issue happened yesterday morning.  Basically she said he is jumping around and hanging on seats an when told to sit down is very disrespectful.   She told me while waving her finger in my face that she is "NOT going to have some punk disrespectful KID talk to her that way!"  I politely responded that I understood and asked her if she had let the bus know when she dropped him off at school yesterday.  She told me that she had not, she wanted to speak to me first.  I asked her to please let them know.  She said to me, in a very aggressive demeanor, "Aren't you going to say anything to him?!".  I told her I would address it at home later and she flipped out telling me that that's the reason he is disrespectful.  Needless to say I think a big part of his bus issue is the bus aides demeanor and tone, but regardless my kid need to learn how to respond appropriately. I wish schools would have bus drivers, cafeteria workers, etc take training a on trauma or behavior/discipline! I felt the need to write them a little note telling them about my kids issues, the effect of trauma and what works for him. I'd like to offer some suggestions for them to try and make the bus ride go smoother?
I did end up calling the supervisor to ask what the protocol is for bus discipline, as I suspected what was done was not appropriate.  I nicely informed the supervisor directly that I would be happy to do a training with all the bus drivers if he would ever allow it :) I plan on having Eric write an apology note and pay me back for some Starbucks gift cards I bought for the driver and aide and enclose a copy of my letter for them tomorrow morning. Hopefully it will make a difference, if not Ive tried! 

Here's the letter I wrote:

Dear Bus Driver/Aide,

    Thank-you for informing me of Matthew’s recent behavior on the morning bus ride to school.  I know that you have a tough job, especially on a bus filled with children who have special needs!  Please know that we will deal with Matthew’s behavior appropriately at home,  he has written an apology note that I have enclosed as well as purchased a small gift with his own money to thank-you for your hard work.  I am hoping that by sharing a little about Matthew with you, you will better understand his behavior and be able to utilize some of his strengths to make for a smoother ride to school.  I am more than happy to speak with you anytime by phone/email or to set up a time to meet in person if you have any questions or concerns.

   

I adopted Matthew out of the foster care system three years ago along with his two younger brothers.  Matthew’s first six years of life were filled with severe abuse and neglect.  As a result of the trauma and toxic stress that Matthew endured for those years he was left with special needs that he struggles to overcome daily.  He is very bright and has made an incredible amount of progress in the last three years, but still has difficulty in some areas.  Matthew has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), ADHD, and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) as well as other mental health issues.  Due to his history and diagnosis Matthew’s ability to trust adults to keep him safe or meet his needs is severely compromised.  He does not have the ability to read social cues including tone of voice or body language and often perceives things in an aggressive, accusatory manner.  He is highly impulsive with a lack of cause and effect thinking, causing him to be unable to think through his words or actions and determine consequences.  He lacks skills in empathy and has difficulty understanding how his actions/words may cause another person to feel.  

    It is a lot of issues for someone so young to have to handle on a daily basis, having adults who are consistent and keep his environment structured and routine make a huge difference.  Here are some ideas that may help his behavior on the bus:

1. Visual Reminders:  Matthew does better with lists or visual reminders rather than direct verbal confrontation.  If you would jot down any specific bus rules and hand them to Matthew to put in his book bag I would be happy to create a small laminated card with the bus rules/routine on them that could be handed to him in the mornings when he gets on the bus.
2. Immediate Consequences: Matthew needs immediate consequences for his behavior in order for him to make the cause and effect connection.  Please let the school know of any issues as soon as he is dropped off, so his teacher can address it with him immediately.  Feel free to write a note on any behavior issues in his planner as well, both the teacher and myself would then be able to see it and address the issue.
3. Close Proximity:  If Matthew believes he has gotten away with something he will escalate his behavior quickly, by keeping him close to you on the bus this will help eliminate the opportunity for him to cause problems.  
4. Verbal Prompts:  If verbal prompts need to be given it is best to keep them short and avoid excessive talking or back and forth arguing.  For example, a simple “Sit Here” works well, do not engage in explanations or respond to his arguing.  It is best to keep your tone and body language calm, positive, and even tempered.
5. Keep him Occupied:  Matthew responds really well when given a “job” or “responsibility” to do, even something as simple as asking him to look for a specific street name may help keep him focused.  I’d be happy to provide Matthew with some “Books on Tape” that he can listen to while on the bus ride if that would be allowed.

Thank-you again for all of your hard work keeping the children safe while transporting them to school each day.  I hope that some of these ideas may be helpful with Matthew.  I will continue to impress upon him the importance of following the rules and routine on the bus.  If there is anything specific you would like me to do please let me know and I will be happy to help.  You can reach me by phone at _________or email ________________                  

 

 

2/20/2014

I listened to a great interview with Bryan Post that was taking place during an Online Training Summit put on by Full Potential Parenting, there are speakers all week so if you haven't yet go register!  It really hit home when Bryan was talking about letting out children feel what they feel, that when we suppress their feelings and suppress their attitudes what we get is the behaviors.  When Matthew got home from school he almost immediately through a tantrum about not being able to get on the Ipad.  He is not allowed to play electronics during the week, so this isn't anything new.  After being refreshed by the interview this morning I was able to stay calm, validate what Matthew was feeling and redirect him to getting something to eat so his brain could think.  We sat at the table together and really connected once he calmed down.  Win-Win, thank you Bryan Post!  I would love to get his DVD/Audio series for Parents but at almost $300 it seems a little out of my price range right now.

Matthew and I just finished a great game of Battleship, playing games is something I don't usually enjoy doing with Matthew.  I'm hyper-vigilant waiting for him to have a meltdown anytime he thinks he is losing, stuck in my own PTSD from all of the major rages and violent meltdowns we have been through that have been triggered from playing games with him.  Today was our first time playing Battleship, he had never played before, meaning I had to teach him the game, another trigger. Mathew doesn't like to listen to people explain or teach him things, see....he already knows it ALL :)  Then when it turns out he doesn't know it all and he is not as good at things as people who have been doing them and practicing them another meltdown begins.  You know what he said when he lost the game as we were cleaning up, "Hey Mom, I didn't even get upset I lost!".  You are so right my boy, you are awesome, I know how hard that is for you and you totally rocked it!!

Snow Day #39,401,749,201

Another snow day here in our neck of the woods.  At first it was just going to be a two hour delay, we were doing pretty good with that information.  Then it turned into a full day off and that's when things got crazy, real fast!
Matthew is really obsessed with "tricking" people and what he deems to be "April Fools Day" jokes.  Unfortunately these are not contained to the actual April Fools Day.  He jumps out at people and screams in their faces multiple times a day....you can see how this would get real old, real fast.  It is not funny, in fact the other day he did it to Joel while he was standing at the top of the steps.  That could have been real dangerous, but Matthew just will not listen.  This is where kids who struggle with attachment issues vary greatly from "typical" developing peers.  I get that to some degree it is completely normal for a nine year old boy to like tricks and jokes.  The problem comes when they obsess about them and fail to listen to the word 'NO'.   The same conversation about why they cant do something is had over and over and over and over and over again.  It is draining on the parent and unbelievably frustrating.  It makes the parent feel like a complete failure as it seems no progress is made after all of their efforts. 
A mere two days ago, Matthew thought it would be funny to play a joke on his brothers.  He placed a heavy ceramic mug filled with water on top of the door, so that when opened the cup would fall.  As you can see there are several things wrong with this picture.  While we were lucky the cup didn't land on anyone's head, the cup shattered into a million pieces, water was all over the wood floors and his brothers, they were scared and crying and he is in the corner laughing.  We discussed that this was not okay, that the jokes needed to stop, that this could have been really dangerous.  Blah, Blah, Blah!  Fast forward to this morning......he does the same. exact. thing.  WHY????????  I am so tired of it!!!!!
The boys come running to tell me, I call Matthew down and he lies.....blatantly lies.  I tried not to engage, just told him "That is a lie.  You did something you knew you were not allowed to do and instead of accepting your consequences with dignity you are lying to try and avoid punishment.  It will not work, lying will only make it worse."  To no avail....cause,  He didn't do it.....um I just heard the entire thing go down, yes you did!  The cup didn't break....commence walking upstairs where there is a broken cup.  He already cleaned up the water.....then why am I standing in a puddle????  AHHHHHH!
He is now in his room, I am trying to breathe and drink my coffee.

Getting me through snow days since....2010!

How Bey Blades have taken over my life, shown me how far we've come and pointed out what we still need to work on!

Have you experienced Bey Blades at your house?  If not, get down on your knees and thank God for the blessings he has bestowed upon you by keeping them out of your house.  I'd say we have had them in our house for about two years, the boys playing with them on and off.  However, this past month their has been a resurgence of Bey Blades, due in part to our trip to visit friends in Georgia who also liked them.  The basic idea is these little toys hook on to a "shooter"  when you pull the cord they go flying and then spin like a top on the ground.  Everyone shoots their bey blades and they spin into each other and whoever's blade is the last one spinning is the winner.  There is also a TV show....you know in case you wanted to have a marathon Bey Blade watching session.  Its not too bad at first, but after an hour of kids screaming at the top of their lungs "3....2....1, LET IT RIP". Followed by loud banging and crashing and yelling.......you see the dilemma.  Throw in there three little boys who think its fun to shoot these things into the air towards glass windows and you have a stressed out momma. 

As annoying as these toys are, last night I tried to look at the positives.  The boys are ALL playing together!  Sometimes it lasts longer than others, but usually we make it a good 30 minutes before I need to step in or remove someone from playing.  Sometimes its even longer!  To top it off they are playing it upstairs (away from the windows I was sure were going to get broken) so Im not even needing to directly supervise.  This is pretty impressive when you think about it, three years ago this would NEVER have been a possibility.  They also seem to be incorporating story lines into their play, granted the storylines still involve fighting and beating the other person, but its more than I have seen previously.  They are working on sharing and taking turns, being good sports, etc.  SOme of this requires more prodding on my part, but its happening.

There are a few things which are evident need some major work in our house still based on our Bey Blade interactions.  James' anxiety is still through the roof, and he whines and yells and stomps without telling anyone what the issue is.  Joel still has issues with sharing and with loosing the game.  Matthew still needs to work on is bossiness and his role as the oldest, meaning sometimes we do what the younger kid wants even if its not "fair" and that we need to help the younger kids play the game without getting frustrated at their lack of ability.

We had a long weekend due to MLK day, no school Friday or Monday, now we are on our second snow day (Tues and Wed).  I'm about Bey Bladed out!  Praying for school tomorrow!!

I may have a vampire in my house

The boys were playing so nicely upstairs with their Bey blades.....that is until the blood curdling screams!  That's right my newly nine year old son bit his five year old brother.  You may ask why he would do this, we'll apparently he had told James not to shoot the toys under the bed.  James did it anyway and he thought that warranted sticking his teeth into the apparent offender, ripping a giant hole in the shirt and puncturing the skin.   Nobody has bit in this house since Joel was in his terrible two phase!

The offender had to write an apology note and will be using his money to buy a new shirt tomorrow.

Report Cards!

My oldest son Matthew's report card came in the mail today, for the first time ever he had all A's and B's!!!!!  I was so excited and proud for him.  This coming on the heels of an unfortunate fight at school this week where he pushed someone in tag and was then punched in the stomach...Ugh he just does not get how his actions played into this at all. BUT putting that aside YEAH!!!!  We all proceeded to dance around the house singing "O HAPPY DAY".  It was fun and I even got him to laugh a little by my silly dancing :)

Christmas Challege Week 2 and a Great "Date"

We are still trucking along with our Christmas Challenge.  I did MUCH better at getting hugs in this week.  Matthew still pretends to resist physical contact but it is clear he needs and enjoys getting hugs.  I had a babysitter coming to the house on Friday night and no real plans on what to do, so I took Matthew out for a Mommy and Me date.  We had a great time.  We went to a movie and then over to Dave and Busters for dinner and games.  He really is such a great kid!  I am constantly amazed at how far he has come.

Balancing Openness in Adoptions for kids who suffered Early Childhood Trauma

The other night Matthew and I were watching "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" on TV.  As riveting as the movie is, I was scrolling through face book at the same time.  I ran across a post from Matthew's birthmom that she was watching "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."  Three years ago I would have just kept scrolling.  Three years ago I wouldn't have wanted to deal with the fall out from mentioning his birthmom.  I figured it would be best to just ignore it, he doesn't bring her up, so why push the issue. 

What I have realized over the last three years is that even though he doesn't bring it up or talk about her, there is still a connection.  It doesn't matter if that connection is rooted in trauma and hurt, it is there deep within his heart.  That connection can grow in his heart towards resentment and confusion, anger and guilt if left alone to fester without guidance.  If the fall out isn't dealt with now while he is young and can be guided, imagine how large that dark stain on his soul will grow.  Trauma like that when not dealt with is not easily contained when we are adults.

So I shared with him that his birthmom was watching the same thing right now.  He was giddy and excited that evening, it grew to a manic episode over the next few days.  BUT it was manageable, contained.  We discussed big feelings and holidays and missing birthfamilies.  We discussed that it is okay to be mad and sad and happy and curious and all the things that come with adoption and trauma, but it is not okay to hurt others, to be defiant and disrespectful, to be unkind and unfun to be around.  We discussed that he has all the tools he needs to handle his emotions, to sit with them and feel them, acknowledge them, and to be okay.

Three years ago I would have kept scrolling, today I relish the chance to practice everything we have learned, to look at how far we have come, to appreciate the fact that despite everything his birthmom will always be connected to him and love him even if she wasn't able to keep him safe. 

Balancing openness in adoptions with kids who have suffered early childhood trauma is difficult, but worth it.

So your kid draws a scary picture.....

Here's the picture I found this morning on our coffee table:

This was MY interpretation:
In the top left corner is a boy scribbled over in black, he has an arrow next to his feet pointing to a heart and breathing fire onto the house.  I interpreted this to be Matthew burning the house down and not having a heart.  At the bottom of the house is a boy smiling holding a bloody knife, which I interpreted as Matthew.  There are three ghosts with stabbed hearts in the house which appear to be throwing up blood, I interpreted this to be myself and Matthews two brothers.

I started freaking out......I contacted some of my other Moms who get "it" and they calmed me down.  They told me to take a breath and just ask him to tell me about the picture when he gets home.  Don't react, thank him for sharing his feelings with me and keep the conversation open.

So tonight after Matthew and I played a few rounds of Speed, I pulled out the picture and asked him to tell me what was happening in the story.

Here is the explanation:
There was a Halloween drawing contest at school. He drew this picture of a black crow shooting lava at a house.  The good guy is going into the house to kill the evil vampire ghosts.  The ghost have broken hearts because they asked a girl out and she said no.  He didn't win the contest, another kid who had a picture of evil zombies won.  He was pretty mad he didn't win.

I totally overreacted,  MY PTSD took over, LOL.

Let this be a lesson for you, don't freak out till you get all the facts :)

Getting ready for Christmas...one day at a time.

We spent the morning decorating our tree, putting up the ornaments and hanging Christmas things around the house.  Other than a few broken ornaments as we were hanging them, things went relatively well.  After the decorating was a different story!  Matthew somehow thought it would be a good idea to chase his brothers around and throw a glass ornament at them.  This of course resulted in chards of glass ALL over the living room, in blankets, in the carpet, all over the coffee table and stacks of papers.  James of course proceeds to run through the broken glass to tell me resulting in bleeding feet.  Then Matthew began the lying, he didn't do it, nobody did it, the dog did it, Joel did it...blah, blah, blah.  I have to admit this one pushed me over the edge, we had JUST gone through what a pain it is to clean up the broken ornaments when we were decorating the tree. We had JUST gone over the fact that the broken ornaments can hurt somebody.  For goodness sakes you are almost nine years old, don't throw crap!!!!!!! 

Deep breaths momma, deep breaths.......

Ok onto our gift giving this year.  I am not going overboard this year.  For the first few years the boys were home I bought tons of stuff, partly because it was fun and partly because of the guilt factor of all the crappy Christmases they had before me.  However, they don't take care of their stuff, they don't appreciate anything, and it just ends up being a total waste.  This year I am only buying four things each:  Something they Want, Something they Need, Something to Wear, and Something to Read.

Something they Want:  I told them I was only buying one fun present/toy each.  Surprisingly so far they have been totally fine with it, maybe it will hit them on Christmas, but I'm sure they will get tons of fun stuff from my family.  They each have put in their requests.  Matthew wants a new Nintendo DS, but this would be his 5th DS in three years.  I happened to have found the extended warranty I purchased on his last one, so I just shipped it off to be fixed for him...shhhh, don't tell him!  I will be "giving" it to him for Christmas with the new Pokémon X game I bought at GameStop (It was used so I saved 20 bucks and the man shrink wrapped it for me so it looks new!) and the Pokémon 'skin' to put on his DS.  James wanted BeyBlade stuff which I had found a bunch of on clearance last summer and Joel wanted drums, so I ordered a VTech drumset off Amazon.

Something they Need:  There really isn't anything the boys "need", so I decided to get them lessons/memberships for this category.  Matthew is getting a family Zoo Membership, James is getting a online subscription to ABC Mouse, and Joel is getting ice skating lessons.

Something to Wear:  I hit up Gap's Black Friday sale of 50% off everything and got Matthew a new sweatshirt and James and Joel got new super hero sweaters.

Something to Read:  I have been on the look out for really nice hard cover new or like new books at goodwill.  You cant beat it at .50 a book!!  I have found some REALLY nice classic new hardcover books for each of the boys this year.  I even found a couple of series of books for Matthew that he has been wanting.  I splurged and bought the new Diary of a Wimpy kid book for Matthew.  He has been reading like crazy lately and that makes a momma proud!

Christmas Eve we always get new pajamas and a movie and of course there will be the stockings on Christmas morning.  This year I have some dollar store items and will be getting gift cards for fast food places for the stockings.

Now I just have to stick to my guns and not buy all the good deals I see :)

Emotional Hot Mess

We has some out of town guests with us for a few days.  It was wonderful and my boys had a blast!!  However, after they left this morning my son was an emotional hot mess.  Apparently these are the ONLY friends he has and he will never make another friend in his whole life.  I had to laugh!  I am so proud of how far he has come.  A year ago he had no desire to have friends all he cared about was controlling every situation with peers.  Today he desperately wants friends, he is learning the skills he needs in order to have successful peer relationships, and he is really trying to put it into practice.  Despite a few times over the weekend when he needed to take a minute and regroup, he did a great job!