Today was REALLY busy! We dropped off R1 last night so got a later start on the bedtime routine than I would have liked! This morning we needed to get out the door super early to get Alex to his school in another county. I did the best I could with a "uniform" for him, he thought they needed blue pants and a white shirt. I was able to get a pair of blue corduroys that fit him in the waist, but were way to long and a light blue button down shirt. Got him over to the school at 7:30 and walked him to the office (with my three boys in toe). I briefly explained what was going on and that the Caseworker would probably be picking him up cause the dismissal time was not feasible for me to get there. Another lady in the office began yelling at me that I'm not allowed to drop him off before 7:45, by this time it was already 7:40. I explained that this was all very sudden and I had to get my other boys to school too and I'm sure the caseworker would get everything straightened out, but they needed to let Alex sit here for the 5 freaking minutes!!! It is crazy how little education professionals (and medical professionals) understand the foster care system or the foster parents role.
Next, I took Matthew to school, then Joel and James got dropped off at preschool. Whew after that I had to rush over to a testing center about 20 minutes away and take some licensing exams to have my teaching license transferred to this state. I'm hoping to be able to get an online teaching position for next year so I can still work from home. Took the tests, passed! Check one off my to do list.
Okay raced back to pick up the boys from preschool and over to have lunch with Grandma. Then passed Joel over to Grandma and took James over to a Psych Eval appointment (we have to do one every two months now for insurance purposes). This eval was with the same lady as the last one she irritates me. Once again at the end her recommendations for me were not in line with any , professional working with kids who have endured early childhood trauma and attachment issues. Furthermore, when she found out we had a foster placement she began asking me some questions that were none of her business, "Why are you taking in more kids, it would seem to me you would be overwhelmed with the ones you have?" My response, "No not overwhelmed. I'm a foster parent its what I do. I enjoy it this boy fits in great with our family and needs a home. We are happy to provide it for now!" Her next question, "Well the other three are adopted right? You're not looking to adopt anymore are you?" Mind you these were asked dripping in condensation! My response, "Not particularly but I'm not against it." Ill admit the last time we were in her office I did get a bit emotional, but she told me my kid was brain damaged and would never recover, which is just an idiotic thing to say! And regardless cant someone just have a bad day?! This is why its so hard to share things with people, there is such judgment and blame on the choices rather than support. Yes I had a bad day I was feeling overwhelmed on that day, everyone feels overwhelmed occasionally. If I were pregnant with a fourth child would she have still thought it was her business to express her opinion? Grrr.....next time I want to switch to a different evaluator, but then I have to go through the whole history again, blah.
After that ordeal was over, we met Grandma and Joel over at the car place to drop off my car for inspection. Then we headed back to my house with Grandma, a few minutes later CW brought Alex home and gave me some paperwork. This evening I was able to look it over and find some names to stalk on facebook, eye opening to say the least. Lets just say I don't think the birth parents would be happy with him being in my home. They have some pretty strong beliefs/opinions. From my stalking I also found court records so it looks like birthmom will be away for another 8-20 months. Mind you I got NO information from the caseworker.
Then it was time for Mobile Therapist to arrive. Shortly after he came Grandma left with Grandpa and we got started with therapy. The therapist even pointed out how much easier it seemed with the four of them opposed to the three. SO far it seems like having Alex here really breaks up the trauma bond between the three of them. James and Alex are really hitting it off and James seems to be modeling some good play skills from Alex. We will see how long it lasts but right now I am happy. Matthew is still adjusting but doing pretty well, I knew he would have the hardest time despite him being the most vocal about wanting more kids. Its giving us some great opportunities to practice skills and have conversations. I've been trying to carve out some extra time in the evenings for us to spend together.
And now everyone is finally in bed :) Have to register James for Kindergarten and get Alex transferred to our local school tomorrow!
How amazing is it that by adding another child to the bunch, it seems easier than before!! I'm glad to hear that Alex will be transferring to a school close by, that will make life so much easier for you! Congrats on passing your licensing exams!
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