Matthew's IEP meeting

I had our annual IEP meeting for Matthew this week.  No shocking information, he is still doing really well in the therapeutic school.  They are recommending he stay there for fourth grade and the school district agreed to pay for it again.  They have a level system and he is on the highest level.  They have taken of all academic goals except writing and OT, so the only thing that remains are the emotional/social/behavioral goals.
I often feel mixed emotions when it comes to Matthew and school.  On one hand I am happy he is doing so well, glad that I get good reports and his teacher sings his praises, trust me that wasn't the case before hand.  Often times though this makes me feel like the problems we see at home are more so issues with me (my parenting or his lack of attachment to me), it makes me second guess everything.  At today's IEP meeting I felt very validated, they noted ALL of the EXACT issues that I see at home as still being a problem in school.  I feel guilty for being happy that he is having these same issues at school.  However, knowing that these same social/emotional issues are presenting themselves in the same exact ways at school really makes me feel like the attachment that I think Matthew and I have gained is real, the issues I see at home are not nearly a presentation of "Attachment Issues" between him and me, but rather some legitimate issues that are consistent across the board.  Many of these stem from the trauma he endured early on, many are from mental illness, but I feel like we have moved past most of the behaviors that were rooted in attachment insecurities or avoidance.
He will probably have a new teacher next year, I have mixed feelings about that as well.  He has been with this teacher for almost two years and one of the reasons he does SO well is because of her.  She is highly structured, aware of what is going on in the classroom, attuned to his issues, encouraging and funny.  On the other hand I think it will be good to see if he can transition the skills he has learned to a new teacher and classroom environment.  He will need to learn how to transition these skills if he is going to be successful in the regular school environment.  They all assured me that his teacher next year is wonderful and that we will keep in touch as far as the transition, so I am hopeful. 
He will get Extended School Year services over the summer, that consists of school 8-12 for about 4 weeks with the bus transporting him, that is really helpful!

Transition Meeting Update

The meeting went alright. I may or may not have gone off on the lady from the Intermediate Unit, but the representatives from the district for school age were there and seemed to be on board.  The school district will be making their decisions and sending out notices to re-evaluate by April 15th at the latest.  I left them with a lot of paperwork, reports, letters, etc all contained within my handy dandy documentation binder.  I even got a "Wow, you are very organized"!

Kindergarten Transition Meeting

I'm starting to get nervous, tomorrow is James' Kindergarten Transition meeting.  I was originally surprised when they called to schedule a transition meeting for him.  The transition meeting is supposed to be for 3-5 year olds who have IEP's and will be transitioning to the school age program.  When we moved states James was discharged from his IEP by the Intermediate Unit (3-5 year old service providers).  This was appealed and we ended up mediating an agreement.  I didn't approve of the whole thing but after months of back and forth I realized he wasn't going to be getting any services that would be helpful regardless, they didn't understand trauma, attachment, or behavioral/emotional issues in general and certainly not to the extent of James' complex issues.  So when I got the call I was more than happy to schedule a meeting with the school district that he would be going to for Kindergarten.  The meeting was scheduled by the Intermediate Unit.  Imagine my surprise when a week later they called to try and cancel it since they realized he doesn't even have an IEP.  No way, I was not letting them cancel.  Clearly they have no idea what they are doing, I am more than happy to meet with the school district now rather than having to go through the whole dog and pony show come fall.  James' BHRS is coming to the meeting and I had the mobile therapist and his preschool teacher write letters outlining his problems, current goals and progress.  Hopefully we can reevaluate him and get him an appropriate IEP before Kindergarten so he doesn't fall even farther behind.

Requesting a Special Education Evaluation

So you think your child may need special education services.  The first thing you want to do  is carefully read through your state's procedural safeguards.  I have compiled a list of links for each state here: PROCEDURAL SAFEGUARDS.  Your states procedural safeguards  will be a wealth of information, read them, make notes in them, put post its on important pages!  These will explain what it takes to qualify for special education services, the timelines and process involved, and answers to frequently asked questions.  This is the first place to go when you have a question or are unsure about something.  Do not rely on what the school will tell you, even the most good hearted, well meaning school personnel may give you incorrect information.

Once you have read through the Procedural Safeguards you will have a good idea of the different disability categories that a child can qualify in for special education services.  You can read more about the different categories here.  Your child may meet the qualifications of several categories.  The important thing now is to just get an idea of what categories your child would fit so you know what information to gather together to prove your child qualifies.  If you have any medical diagnosis/evaluations, psychiatric diagnosis/evaluations, recommendations from doctors/counselors/therapists, results from previous tutoring or interventions, past years report cards/evaluations/teacher concerns, you will want to gather them together. If you have already compiled your Documentation Binder, then you should have all that information in one place!

If you are at the point where you are thinking of asking for a special education evaluation you have probably already had numerous conversations with the school.  Many parents I know have even discussed wanting an evaluation many times, but never had anything come out of it.  It is vital that your communication with the school be in writing.  If you have a conversation in person or over the phone, follow up with an email detailing your understanding of the conversation and anything that is supposed to happen next. 

When you are ready to make the actual request for an evaluation, you are going to want to write a formal letter and send it to both the classroom teacher and the principal, you may also want to send it to other people within the district you have discussed your child with (Guidance Counselor/Social Worker, Special Education teachers/supervisors, District Administrators, etc).

There are many sample letters on the internet that you can take a look at when formulating your request.  Regardless of which format you use there are several things you want your letter to address.

• Why are you requesting an evaluation?  (what difficulties is your child having, what diagnosis do they already have)
• What has been done to intervene?  (In school interventions and out of school interventions tried to help child)
• An official request for an evaluation
• Give them a way to contact you and a timeline to get back to you.
• I recommend sending this letter by Certified Mail or Return Receipt, so that you have proof of the day you sent it and when it was received.

Here is a copy of the letter I used:

October 19, 2012

__________________ School

Dear

I am writing to request a multi-factored evaluation (MFE) for my child Matthew (DOB ). I am requesting this evaluation because of Matthew’s difficulty in the school environment and with accessing the school curriculum as well as numerous diagnoses which hinder his learning.  Matthew has been diagnosed with ADHD, Mood/Adjustment Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Matthew was adopted through the foster care system in __________ and has been living with our family since ______________.  Given his background, past trauma, and mental health issues participating in his current school setting and accessing the general education curriculum is extremely difficult without additional supports.  As we proceed throughout this school year I would like to ensure that Matthew receives an appropriate education with the accommodations and support he needs in order to be successful and accurately demonstrate his abilities.

We have tried the following to help Matthew:

1.  Matthew has been enrolled in three different school environments prior to _________, online, public and private, with consistent negative behaviors that hindered his ability to learn across environments.  
2. At previous schools Matthew was given additional supports outside of the classroom, including adults to escort him out of class and help him get under control, access to a guidance counselor, participation in a social awareness group, one on one testing, and small group learning.
3. At previous schools Matthew was given interventions within the classroom such as frequent reminders, additional time, retaking assessments, reduced work and priority seating.
4. Outside of school Matthew participates in weekly counseling sessions and monthly meetings with doctors to address medications.  He has also participated in Speech and Occupational Therapies outside of school.
5. Matthew underwent a psychiatric hospitalization for a week in ___________ where he received both private and group therapy, art therapy, and individual counseling.
6. Matthew has been evaluated by a Neurodevelopmental Disorder Clinic and I have participated in their parenting workshop.
7. Furthermore, I am a licensed Special Education teacher and have spent a significant amount of time tutoring Matthew outside of the school environment.

This letter serves as my request and consent for a multi-factored evaluation of my child. Please provide me the name and telephone number of any person who will be forwarded this letter and who will be coordinating the MFE. You can send me information through Email (_____________) or call me during the day at _______.

Attached you will find copies of relevant evaluations, diagnosis and treatment plans that may help assist you during the evaluation process.  If you need any additional information I would be happy to provide it for you

I look forward to hearing from you within five school days of the date you receive this letter. Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,

 I hope this helps as you begin to try and wade through the school system!  If you have any questions feel free to comment or to use the contact form on the right.

Special Education 101: Disablity Categories

There are 13 categories that your child can qualify under for Special Education services.  You will want to look at your states procedural safeguards and read through the definitions there as well.  The following definitions are from the IDEA 2004 (federal regulations).

AUTISM:
Autism means a developmental disability significantly affecting verbal and nonverbal communication and social interaction, generally evident before age three, that adversely affects a child's educational performance. Other characteristics often associated with autism are engagement in repetitive activities and stereotyped movements, resistance to environmental change or change in daily routines, and unusual responses to sensory experiences.

Autism does not apply if a child's educational performance is adversely affected primarily because the child has an emotional disturbance.           

A child who manifests the characteristics of autism after age three could be identified as having autism if certain criteria are met.

           

DEAF-BLINDNESS:

Deaf-blindness means concomitant hearing and visual impairments, the combination of which causes such severe communication and other developmental and educational needs that they cannot be accommodated in special education programs solely for children with deafness or children with blindness.

          

DEAFNESS:

Deafness means a hearing impairment that is so severe that the child is impaired in processing linguistic information through hearing, with or without amplification that adversely affects a child's educational performance. 

         

EMOTIONAL DISTURBANCE:

Emotional disturbance means a condition exhibiting one or more of the following characteristics over a long period of time and to a marked degree that adversely affects a child's educational performance:            

(A) An inability to learn that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or health factors.

(B) An inability to build or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers.

(C) Inappropriate types of behavior or feelings under normal circumstances.

(D) A general pervasive mood of unhappiness or depression.

(E) A tendency to develop physical symptoms or fears associated with personal or school problems.

Emotional disturbance includes schizophrenia. The term does not apply to children who are socially maladjusted, unless it is determined that they have an emotional disturbance under this section. 

           

HEARING IMPAIRMENT:

Hearing impairment means an impairment in hearing, whether permanent or fluctuating, that adversely affects a child's educational performance but that is not included under the definition of deafness in this section.

 

COGNITIVE DISABILITY/MENTAL RETARDATION

Mental retardation means significantly subaverage general intellectual functioning, existing concurrently with deficits in adaptive behavior and manifested during the developmental period, that adversely affects a child's educational performance. 

         

MULTIPLE DISABILITIES:

Multiple disabilities means concomitant impairments (such as mental retardation-blindness or mental retardation-orthopedic impairment), the combination of which causes such severe educational needs that they cannot be accommodated in special education programs solely for one of the impairments. Multiple disabilities does not include deaf-blindness. 

         

ORTHOPEDIC IMPAIRMENT:

Orthopedic impairment means a severe orthopedic impairment that adversely affects a child's educational performance. The term includes impairments caused by a congenital anomaly, impairments caused by disease (e.g., poliomyelitis, bone tuberculosis), and impairments from other causes (e.g., cerebral palsy, amputations, and fractures or burns that cause contractures). 

         

OTHER HEALTH IMPAIRMENT:

Other health impairment means having limited strength, vitality, or alertness, including a heightened alertness to environmental stimuli, that results in limited alertness with respect to the educational environment, that--

(i) Is due to chronic or acute health problems such as asthma, attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, diabetes, epilepsy, a heart condition, hemophilia, lead poisoning, leukemia, nephritis, rheumatic fever, sickle cell anemia, and Tourette syndrome; and

(ii) Adversely affects a child's educational performance. 

           

SPECIFIC LEARNING DISABILITY:

Specific learning disability means a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written, that may manifest itself in the imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or to do mathematical calculations, including conditions such as perceptual disabilities, brain injury, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, and developmental aphasia.           

Disorders not included. Specific learning disability does not include learning problems that are primarily the result of visual, hearing, or motor disabilities, of mental retardation, of emotional disturbance, or of environmental, cultural, or economic disadvantage. 

           

SPEECH OR LANGUAGE IMPAIRMENT:

Speech or language impairment means a communication disorder, such as stuttering, impaired articulation, a language impairment, or a voice impairment, that adversely affects a child's educational performance. 

         

TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY:

Traumatic brain injury means an acquired injury to the brain caused by an external physical force, resulting in total or partial functional disability or psychosocial impairment, or both, that adversely affects a child's educational performance. Traumatic brain injury applies to open or closed head injuries resulting in impairments in one or more areas, such as cognition; language; memory; attention; reasoning; abstract thinking; judgment; problem-solving; sensory, perceptual, and motor abilities; psychosocial behavior; physical functions; information processing; and speech. Traumatic brain injury does not apply to brain injuries that are congenital or degenerative, or to brain injuries induced by birth trauma. 

         

VISUAL IMPAIRMENT:

Visual impairment including blindness means an impairment in vision that, even with correction, adversely affects a child's educational performance. The term includes both partial sight and blindness.

 

RESOURCES:
http://nichcy.org/wp-content/uploads/docs/gr3.pdf
http://idea.ed.gov/explore/view/p/%2Croot%2Cregs%2C300%2CA%2C300%252E8%2Cc%2C

Report Cards!

My oldest son Matthew's report card came in the mail today, for the first time ever he had all A's and B's!!!!!  I was so excited and proud for him.  This coming on the heels of an unfortunate fight at school this week where he pushed someone in tag and was then punched in the stomach...Ugh he just does not get how his actions played into this at all. BUT putting that aside YEAH!!!!  We all proceeded to dance around the house singing "O HAPPY DAY".  It was fun and I even got him to laugh a little by my silly dancing :)

Why I chose to homeschool and why I chose to stop!

When Matthew first came to live with me he was just about to enter the wonderful world of schooling!  He was still in foster care so homeschooling was not allowed and I didn't know the length of his stay, so private school was out of the question.  I chose to place him in a local public charter school that I was working with at the time since I knew the staff and would be able to keep a close eye on him.  We made it through the year, barely, but only because Matthew had the awesomest teacher ever.  After Kindergarten it was clear that he would be staying forever so I enrolled him in the Christian school near me hoping that the good influence of his peers and no more traumatizing visits with birth family would lead to changes in his behavior....so that didn't work.  After what is now merely referred to as the "incident" around Christmas in his first grade classroom this was no longer an option for him.  By this time I was working from home so I thought I would jump on the homeschooling ban-wagon.  For those of you not familiar with the attachment/adoption circle, homeschooling is kinda a big thing.  There is a large population of moms who are homeschooling these kiddos day in and day out.  I always perceived these women as more dedicated, more creative, more patient than myself.  They seemed to have this therapeutic parenting thing down to a science. I perceived them spending the day engaging their children in learning, baking delicious gluten free cookies, keeping the house cleaned and organized and all the while working through their children's trauma and healing, creating the perfect family.  Maybe that was the solution to all of our behavior woes.....I just needed to homeschool.  So in we jumped.  The last half of first grade was magical Matthew completed work that his first grade teacher had told me he was nowhere near capable.  Don't get me wrong we had our struggles and it took all of our energy to get through the basics each day, but we did it!  The house was a disaster and we ate out too often, but we did it!  I learned more about my son in those few months then I had in the last year and a half.  I learned what he was capable of, what triggered him, what strategies would work and what wouldn't.  I learned when to push him and when to back off.  I taught him how to understand empathy for others physical pain (and I had the bruises to prove it).  It was a magical time. I wouldn't trade it for the world. We began to understand each other. Then came second grade. We began homeschooling and I was determined that this was going to be a great year. However, the magic never came.  There was yelling, pouting, gnashing of teeth, and that was just on my end :) Things were not going as planned.  The control battles became unbearable.  We understood each other all right, he understood how to push my buttons and my sanity and I understood that he was capable of much better.  It became exhausting and triggering for both of us.  In December of that year Matthews younger brother was "released" from his preschool program, meaning he was now home with us all day.  It was the straw that broke the camels back.  Having two RADishes in the house along with a two year old who was into everything was. not. working. I struggled with the decision to continue homeschooling.  I worried about changing his school once again.  I worried that he would be able to manipulate and get away with behavior in the classroom causing all our hard work to be destroyed.  I was worried he wouldn't make friends and learn to further distance himself from peers.  I worried I would spend more time at school dealing with issues making it pointless.  I didn't want to explain our situation and teach yet a new group of professionals, but the struggle was mainly my own.  I felt like a failure, I didn't feel good enough.  I saw all these women who were doing it all and I just couldn't.  I contacted the public school and Matthew was eventually placed in a small pyscho-educational school with a 1:5 ratio.  Best decision ever.  He is doing great, has glowing reports, and best of all he is making some positive choices.  Only time will tell and maybe one day we will give it another go, but for now this is working for US.
What I realized was that if it wasn't homeschooling it would just be something else, maybe I just needed to feed a gluten free diet or sign the boys up for the latest therapy to come around.  What I perceived when looking at all these beautiful women and their beautiful families was partially true, they are all AMAZING, they are all DEDICATED, they are all CREATIVE, they are all PATIENT, but so am I.  They are all finding and doing what they think is best for their UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL children, but so am I.  None of us are perfect and the grass may always look greener on the other side, but we are ALL dealing with our own unique blend of problems, worries, therapies and issues.  We are all in different stages of this battle for our kids hearts.  What works for one child might not work for mine.  There is no manual or one magic program that will "fix" what was broken in my child so long ago.  I AM ENOUGH, I don't have to be a supermom, I can leave my therapeutic parenting panties at the door every once in awhile and screw up and its ok cause there's always tomorrow.  My kids didn't get this way overnight, there were years of trauma that came before me, I cant expect them to heal overnight.