Therapy 101- EFT: Emotional Freedom Techniques

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) also called "tapping" is a quick easy intervention or coping skill you can teach your kiddos to deal with big feelings anywhere at anytime.  Similar to acupuncture, the child will tap on certain points of their body while running through a script helping them process their feelings.  There is a wide variety of variations on how you can do this with your child, and an internet search will give you tons of ideas, videos, scripts, etc.

First you need to teach the tapping points.  Below is a video teaching a child to use the points.  For younger kids I would recommend using a stuffed animal and putting stickers or sewing buttons on the tapping points so they can practice with it.  You can choose to only teach a few tapping points if that is all your child can handle right now, I would do at least a minimum of four.  For my youngest we use four tapping points King's Crown (top of head), Mustache (Under Nose), Tarzan (Collar Bone), and Monkey (Under armpit).  For my oldest we do all of the tapping points and I made a "cheat sheet" that has pictures of him doing each tapping point so he can reference it as he works through the script.






Once they know the tapping points you can find scripts online or make your own, check out youtube too! You will find that most of the "adult" scripts are too long or complicated for kids to follow, here is a great page showing a way to develop simple scripts for kids:  Dumping, Dreaming, Deciding Technique for developing EFT Scripts.  Here is an example of a script I made for my son dealing with angry feelings: Printable Anger Script.  I used the Dumping, Dreaming and Deciding technique but also added in a section for Physical Symptoms because I think it is helps my son connect the physical symptoms to the feelings.

Here's the thing about the scripts, if your kid doesn't want to say it out loud, that's okay.  If they want to copy and repeat after you, that's okay.  If they want to read it silently, that's okay.  If they refuse to do the script at all and just sit there listening to you, that's okay too :)  The thing I've found most helpful with the scripts for my son is having him hear/say that his feelings are valid, that there is a way to have those feelings and work through him, and that he is an awesome/smart/brave kid.  He struggles with self esteem so having those positive affirmations reinforced while tapping is great for him.

We are working on making him a binder filled with different scripts and I have video taped myself doing the scripts on his Nintendo DS so he can watch them whenever he needs.  Its super simple to do and it can never hurt to give your kids more tools for their arsenal!



Resources
Do's and Don'ts of tapping with Kids
EFT SUPER STAR:  Brad Yates
Community Forums for Parents and Professionals using EFT with kids

Business Cards for Special Needs Families

 

I was reminded on facebook today about "special needs" business cards a dear friend of mine had made years ago.  When I saw these cards I just had to make my own, so that is what I did.  About a year ago I made these business cards to keep with me when we are out and about.  They have come in handy not only when my children are having some issues, but also to spread the word about early childhood trauma, mental health,  and attachment issues.  You can easily make these to fit your unique family situation or answer questions and comments that you frequently here. 

 

 

 

 

Creating a Safety Plan

Having a safety plan in place is vitally important when you are dealing with a child who struggles with mental illness, whether it is a threat of suicide, manic or aggressive/threatening behavior, knowing what to do when in the midst of crisis needs to be second nature to ensure everyone's safety.

When developing the safety plan it is important to have input not only from any family members or caregivers who it may effect, but also additional third parties such as counselors, therapists, first responders, etc.  It is important to know what your options are and what supports are available to you before a crisis occurs.  Having input from other trained professionals can help you find other available supports you may not know about as well as determining the best course of action for your particular child.  Involving others also protects you in the future and helps you to explain to first responders/hospitals/treatment centers the actions you took before contacting them and how the family has gotten to this point in the safety plan. Most importantly don't forget to include your child in this process.  Keeping the discussion open may help them recognize their own warning signs for crisis and respond better. asking your child about what would help them in crisis is a great place to start.

Having a written safety plan is only helpful if everyone in the family knows their role and what to do in an emergency.  It is extremely important that all family members participate in "practice" runs much like a fire drill.  In our house we have a code word we use to indicate that they are to go to the play room, lock the door, and pick a TV show to watch.  I use the code word every once in awhile when they least expect it and give out treats for good listeners.  By making it fun and non threatening I think it reduces any stress or fear when an actual need arises. 

Our safety plan includes a page (front and back) of basic/background/summary information including:

Child’s information

Family information 

Common Behaviors including known triggers/antecedents, things that can escalate/calm the behavior, strategies that may work.

Medications both current and past

Treatment and Interventions

Professional Team

Other Outside Supports/Resources

Safety Concerns

      YOU CAN GET A COPY OF THE CUSTOMIZEABLE SAFETY PLAN HERE

The second page includes the actual plan "If child is doing X, then you do Y."  This will be very child-specific, but here is a copy of ours so you can get an idea.

So now that you have your safety plan, you can just stick it on a shelf and forget about it right?  NO, the safety plan will have to constantly be amended and changed based on your families current needs and support systems.  It is also important to reflect on the safety plan and any changes that need to be made following a crisis.  You may want to ask What situations or triggers led to the crisis? What worked and didn't work?  What can we do differently to keep everyone safe and calm?
I like to make notes right on my safety plan and then develop a revised version based on my notes for the next crisis.

CRISIS BAG:

If any of you have ever sat in a psychiatric emergency room for hours on end, you know how boring, stressful and unproductive you can feel.  Creating a bag that can be left in the car or near the door is a great idea to prepare for a crisis.  Things are happening so fast when you reach the point of transporting or having your child transported to a hospital or emergency unit.  The last time we were in crisis the first responders wouldn't even give me the time to find my youngest kids shoes!!

This bag should include your crisis plan, documentation binder and some snacks, games, music or books for both yourself, the child in crisis, and any others who may be waiting for long periods of time.

You may also want to pack an emergency bag that includes a change of clothes and basic hygiene supplies in case it is determined the child in crisis will be admitted or transferred to another unit.





RESOURCES:
http://www.childcrisisresponsemn.org/resources/#t1
www.namihelps.org/MHCrisisplanbkltCH.pdf
http://kidslinkcares.com/mentalhealth/sample-safety-plans/
http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f13/must-read-creating-safety-plan-your-family-238/

So your kid draws a scary picture.....

Here's the picture I found this morning on our coffee table:

This was MY interpretation:
In the top left corner is a boy scribbled over in black, he has an arrow next to his feet pointing to a heart and breathing fire onto the house.  I interpreted this to be Matthew burning the house down and not having a heart.  At the bottom of the house is a boy smiling holding a bloody knife, which I interpreted as Matthew.  There are three ghosts with stabbed hearts in the house which appear to be throwing up blood, I interpreted this to be myself and Matthews two brothers.

I started freaking out......I contacted some of my other Moms who get "it" and they calmed me down.  They told me to take a breath and just ask him to tell me about the picture when he gets home.  Don't react, thank him for sharing his feelings with me and keep the conversation open.

So tonight after Matthew and I played a few rounds of Speed, I pulled out the picture and asked him to tell me what was happening in the story.

Here is the explanation:
There was a Halloween drawing contest at school. He drew this picture of a black crow shooting lava at a house.  The good guy is going into the house to kill the evil vampire ghosts.  The ghost have broken hearts because they asked a girl out and she said no.  He didn't win the contest, another kid who had a picture of evil zombies won.  He was pretty mad he didn't win.

I totally overreacted,  MY PTSD took over, LOL.

Let this be a lesson for you, don't freak out till you get all the facts :)

PTSD and Weight Gain

Have you read this article about how PTSD could lead to sizeable weight gain in women.

"The women were asked about the worst trauma they experienced and if they had symptoms of PTSD. Symptoms included re-experiencing the traumatic event, feeling threatened, avoiding social situations and feeling emotionally numb. PTSD was defined as having four or more symptoms over a month or more."

Often times the "trauma" that we as mothers of attachment challenged children is referred to as secondary PTSD, although not an official diagnosis, it refers to the mirroring of PTSD symptoms that our children exhibit.  I think this is dismissive to what we as mothers have gone through.  I hear from families all over about the constant threats and violence that some of them have endured, often for years.  They have lived with locked doors, hidden their kitchen knives, installed video monitoring systems and developed safety plans.  They have been physically and verbally abused by their own children.  They have been isolated from the outside world.  Our homes and experiences have moved beyond "secondary" trauma. 

Ill take it a step further and say that the majority of moms I know go beyond Secondary PTSD and meet the criteria for full blown PTSD.  Yes, our children may have PTSD and we very well may mirror their symptoms.  However, the longer you live with a child who has experienced trauma the more direct and indirect trauma you receive from the child.  I can confidently say that even though our home is relatively free from direct trauma, threats and violence at this time, the effects from the PTSD that I suffered early on are real and still something that I am working through.

I encourage you to take a look at the PTSD criteria, read over the article and discuss it with your doctor.  I know I for one am totally blaming my weight gain on this..........it definitely has nothing to do with my love of cheese fries and hatred of exercise!

Take a look at the DSM-V criteria for PTSD: (link the following definition was taken from)

Diagnostic criteria for PTSD include a history of exposure to a traumatic event that meets specific stipulations and symptoms from each of four symptom clusters: intrusion, avoidance, negative alterations in cognitions and mood, and alterations in arousal and reactivity. The sixth criterion concerns duration of symptoms; the seventh assesses functioning; and, the eighth criterion clarifies symptoms as not attributable to a substance or co-occurring medical condition.
Two specifications are noted including delayed expression and a dissociative subtype of PTSD, the latter of which is new to DSM-5. In both specifications, the full diagnostic criteria for PTSD must be met for application to be warranted.

Criterion A: stressor

The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, as follows: (one required)

1. Direct exposure.
2. Witnessing, in person.
3. Indirectly, by learning that a close relative or close friend was exposed to trauma. If the event involved actual or threatened death, it must have been violent or accidental.
4. Repeated or extreme indirect exposure to aversive details of the event(s), usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, collecting body parts; professionals repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures.

Criterion B: intrusion symptoms

The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in the following way(s): (one required)

1. Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive memories. Note: Children older than six may express this symptom in repetitive play.
2. Traumatic nightmares. Note: Children may have frightening dreams without content related to the trauma(s).
3. Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) which may occur on a continuum from brief episodes to complete loss of consciousness. Note: Children may reenact the event in play.
4. Intense or prolonged distress after exposure to traumatic reminders.
5. Marked physiologic reactivity after exposure to trauma-related stimuli.

Criterion C: avoidance

Persistent effortful avoidance of distressing trauma-related stimuli after the event: (one required)

1. Trauma-related thoughts or feelings.
2. Trauma-related external reminders (e.g., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations).

Criterion D: negative alterations in cognitions and mood

Negative alterations in cognitions and mood that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (two required)

1. Inability to recall key features of the traumatic event (usually dissociative amnesia; not due to head injury, alcohol, or drugs).
2. Persistent (and often distorted) negative beliefs and expectations about oneself or the world (e.g., "I am bad," "The world is completely dangerous").
3. Persistent distorted blame of self or others for causing the traumatic event or for resulting consequences.
4. Persistent negative trauma-related emotions (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame).
5. Markedly diminished interest in (pre-traumatic) significant activities.
6. Feeling alienated from others (e.g., detachment or estrangement).
7. Constricted affect: persistent inability to experience positive emotions.

Criterion E: alterations in arousal and reactivity

Trauma-related alterations in arousal and reactivity that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (two required)

1. Irritable or aggressive behavior
2. Self-destructive or reckless behavior
3. Hypervigilance
4. Exaggerated startle response
5. Problems in concentration
6. Sleep disturbance

Criterion F: duration

Persistence of symptoms (in Criteria B, C, D, and E) for more than one month.

Criterion G: functional significance

Significant symptom-related distress or functional impairment (e.g., social, occupational).

Criterion H: exclusion

Disturbance is not due to medication, substance use, or other illness.

Specify if: With dissociative symptoms.

In addition to meeting criteria for diagnosis, an individual experiences high levels of either of the following in reaction to trauma-related stimuli:

1. Depersonalization: experience of being an outside observer of or detached from oneself (e.g., feeling as if "this is not happening to me" or one were in a dream).
2. Derealization: experience of unreality, distance, or distortion (e.g., "things are not real").

Specify if: With delayed expression.

Full diagnosis is not met until at least six months after the trauma(s), although onset of symptoms may occur immediately.

There are some really great therapies out there for PTSD, if your looking for more information I would check out EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) and see if it might help you or your child in your healing.