Friday, May 31, 2013

Trajectory of Healing

We are coming to the end of a 9 month family based treatment program, I am glad and ready to take a break for awhile.  No more frantically cleaning the house several times a week to prepare for the therapists.  No more wasting hours each week teaching the therapists discussing trauma/attachment and the lasting effects it has on my children.  It became pretty evident early on that this would be one more thing to add to our list of therapies that didn't really help.  Within the first few weeks the therapist told me he didn't really know what to do with our family.  He was used to going in and spending the first six months teaching the parent how to develop structure, rules, rewards and consequences.  All these things were in place in our house from the day I brought them home.  It is what I have heard for three years, the only thing the therapists we have seen know how to do is reprimand and scorn.....I mean.... help the parent :)  I understand that in reality the majority of the kids they see with behavior issues are really just products of their environment and poor parenting skills, but when a child who is truly mentally ill comes along, no one knows what to do.  I don't understand this.  I've spent the past three years reading, researching, talking with other parents.  I've developed strategies, skills, and tools for my kids to use.  I'm tired of doing their job.  Yesterday I asked the therapist if he had any suggestions for helping James with his impulsivity and processing delay.  He has always been very impulsive, doing whatever pops into his mind.  Unfortunately his impulses tend to be hitting or throwing or yelling in your face.  These things will not go over well in his 5 day a week preschool next fall.  We have really been trying to work on this and what I have noticed is that what often comes across as defiant behavior seems to be more of a processing delay.  For example,  if he comes up and screams in your face, you will ask him to stop and he will immediately scream in your face again, he may even do it with a laugh.  There seems to be a five second delay for what you have said to sink in, and you may even have to say it several times.  I don't think what he is doing is intentional, I genuinely don't think he is processing what is going on around him and what is being said correctly.  Anyway, the therapist says to me, "Brett, why do you always ask these questions that I can't help you with?!"  Um I don't know.....guess I just figured you were the one who went to school for this stuff!

Matthew had a new Psych Eval for the camp he will be attending this summer.  The family based counselor was there and asked how he was doing in the program.  He told the evaluator, "Matthew was a good trajectory of healing before we entered the picture and I believe he will continue on a steady path of growth."  Its true he has come so far, no thanks to the many 'professionals' along the way, for once in my life I'm taking the credit on this one, I'm the one......ok, ok, Ill give Matthew some credit too :)

I'm ready to be done....4 more weeks.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry it's been such a waste of time but is another example of services out there that don't work. I do commend the therapist for admitting his short-comings instead of trying to make your family fit into the mold of his typical client families and try to treat your kids as troubled versus with a real mental health disorder and you as a dramatic irrational mother instead of a parent who has moved mountains to determine your child's needs and ways to help them. Ever considered neurofeedback/ eeg biofeedback to help "unstick" these delayed brain processes?"


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